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I can promise you this one thing: during my trip to Maui this never happened.  But holy shit would I have loved to have seen a military plane crash into the ocean.  [via]

Listen up, this is real talent here.  Real, real talent.  He even nails the solo.  By the way, we’ll be back into the full swing of things on Wednesday. Honestly, Maui is too amazing to even think about getting on the internet, but the vacation is winding down so I figured I’d share this little treat with you. So, everyone else on this planet but Gerry Phillips just won the life contest. [via]

And did we mention with a dolphin?  You can’t see the bewildered look on my face right now, but trust me when I tell you it’s there. Honestly, can anyone help me out and explain what’s going on? [via]

The Los Angeles Dodgers really don’t want people to buy tickets.  Maybe the other way to put it is how badly do you want tickets to see the Dodgers at Chavez Ravine? 

I can’t 100% verify the veracity of this photo, photoshop and all that, but my friend buying the tickets swears it’s real.  I don’t think he has any reason to photoshop something like this and lie about it.

Leave it to the Japanese to give you something you’ve never seen before.  Like ever.  This is from the anime show Kemonozume where adult kisses end by being chewed in half. Enjoy the rest of your day. 

Playing devil’s advocate here, if we’re going to be fair, at the very least, this didn’t end with any sort of tentacle mouth killing.  Which has been known to happen.  [via]

So this exists and it’s pretty awesome. It’s possible it might be connected to John Justice Design, but ya never know. [via]

Not sure why he’s singing about penis, vulva or anus on a park slide or why he’s wearing overalls.  But I do know that he was picked up by Chris Hanson and the To Catch a Predator crew later that afternoon.

And on the seventh day the neighborhood watch rested.  [via The High Definite]

So this exists and is spreading around the internet today like a super-strain of herpes. 

Asian Poses is a website full of examples of typical female Asian poses like the giant heart (shown above), fighting, adjusting glasses, and of course the V sign (or peace sign). 

It’s run by a Chinese man and I guess it’s one of those things that seems weird and racist, but is actually quite normal because everyone in Asia (China, Japan, Korea anyways) poses like this. 

You can slot this site right between I Can Haz Cheezburger and This is Why You’re Fat for things that boggle the brain. 

[via these fine sites and the entire internet]

Stranger than Air France Flight 447 abruptly disappearing for no reason, or that two highly-wanted terrorists were aboard the plane is the story of a would-be-passenger from Italy. 

Johanna Ganthaler was enjoying a relaxing vacation in Brazil with her husband and preparing to fly back to her native Italy.  Except they missed their flight and had to catch one the next day. 

Turns out that was a good thing, as Air France Flight 447 went missing shortly after leaving Rio de Janiero, and all 228 passengers aboard that flight died. 

Once the initial frustration subsided, the couple probably breathed a giant sigh of relief for not being on that plane.  What great luck and fortune we have!

But when Death wants you, Death will take you. 

Back home safe and sound, Death regrouped and caught up with Ms. Ganthaler yesterday.  She was killed in a car accident when the car she was riding in veered across a road in Kufstein, Austria, and swerved into an oncoming truck. Her husband was seriously injured, she died immedietly.

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a James Bond action figure, but now the ladies (and some men) can take Daniel Craig home in a lickable popsicle thanks to Del Monte Foods’s “license to chill” pop.

Del Monte Superfruit Smoothies said artists “worked tirelessly” to recreate a shirtless sculpture of 41-year-old Craig in the scene where he emerges from the sea in Casino Royale, the twenty-first film in the James Bond series.

So there’s that. (Having problems uploading photos at the moment, we’ll update with pics when we can, natch.)

Stories like this always make me giddy for some unknown reason.  But, Candace Eloph spent a lifetime searching for her half-brother, who was given up for adoption in 1977, with no luck. 

And then she moved into a house in Shrevesport, LA and began talking to her neighbor Jamie Wheat one day. 

“We were sitting one day, talking, and she said, ‘You know what? I had a brother born January 27, 1977, that was adopted,’” Wheat said. “I was like, I’m adopted.”

Surprised, Eloph mentioned that her mother was 16 at the time. His mother was 16, too, Wheat replied.

All the details fit, and Cottrell and Wheat decided to take a DNA test.

The results: There’s a 99.995 percent probability that the two are related.

But this is the best part. 

Added his adoptive father, Ted Wheat: “It was just surprising that they lived across the street from us for two-and-a-half years. When they told us, we said, ‘This is the greatest news it could be.’”

Surprised isn’t quite the word I would use to describe finding your long-lost sibling for the past 30 years has been living next door unbeknownst to you.  I don’t know what the word is, but I’m guessing it’s closer to “great-oogly-moogly!”

I tried watching this commercial gif for oh about 20 minutes or so.  It took me that long to realize this might be the strangest wtf thing I see all day.  It’s all looking up from here.  I get the pizza and the hot sauce, but what’s up with the babies in a blanket?

Why do I get the feeling that Japan is constantly trying to wtf one up themselves every day.