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Hey New Jersey! It’s time to reclaim the word and turn a negative into a positive.

(Thanks Kristin!) [via]

What do the Joes do on their downtime between training and shooting lazers that seem to hit no one even though they are the best trained soldiers on the planet fighting Cobra?

Well, now we know.  And if the new movie was worth anything, it was being made just so we could get the above parody — one that features a better cast and storyline. 

Alexis Bledel as Lady Jaye
• Billy Crudup as Zartan
• Zack Galifiankais as Snow Job
• Tony Hale as Dr. Mindbender
• Vinnie Jones as Destro
• Joey Kern as Tomax and Xamot
• Chuck Liddell as Gung Ho
• Julianne Moore as Scarlett
• Henry Rollins as Duke
• Alan Tudyk as Shipwreck
• Olivia Wilde as The Baroness

And that doesn’t even ruin the cameo at the end, which is incredible.  Spoiler alert: he betrayed America during the first Gulf War by switching sides.  Still, if I can find it in my sixth-grade heart to forgive the man that broke my heart to begin with, then I suppose we can forgive Paramount and director Stephen Sommers for the trainwreck that was G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra. 

This video goes a long way to making that happen.

The Office star Craig Robinson offers some sexy advice.  Sometimes I have no idea how they manage to keep a straight face. Safe for work, but probably not safe for the sexually prudish.

Another one from my buddy Jason Horton.  He’s the gentleman behind Zombie Girlfriend. and Pinder and Pinder Bear Law.

It’ll forever be difficult to top the one where Michael Cera gets molested, and if you’re going to making a marginally funny episode with forced awkwardness, it might as well star Natalie Portman’s amazing legs and her adorable dog Whiz passed out on the carpet.

Batman has succumb to the evil perils of Bernie Madoff, and is strapped for cash. So Adam West holds a yard sale outside of the Batcave to buy a big beef and cheddar at Arbys. I would buy something from Batman’s yard sale just to hear Adam West say, “delicious hot beef and cheddar.”

Proving once again that cheeseburgers, do in fact, make everything better.

Another one from my buddy who created Zombie Girlfriend.

Um, sure, I guess.  Die?  It’s funny because they’re pretending to be smart?

Mumblecore is a type of movie which tries to make boring, mundane things seem inherently interesting because it’s being done by twentysomethings with large vocabs and accompanied with a sweet indie-folk soundtrack.  Think Wes Anderson, if Wes Anderson had no budget or personality or wasn’t talented.

Some of these low budget flick are actually pretty good, but most of them just come off as masturbatory.  It’s the logical extension from people watching Richard Linklater’s early work like Slacker or Before Sunrise and thinking hey I can do that.  Except they can’t.  But they still do.  Hence mumblecore.

Jake Szymanski’s “The Dirty Garage” may not have the couches rolling down the street of Billy Was a Deaf Kid, or the retarded cats of Charley the Retarded Cat (still the gold standard of hipster movie parody videos), but it may be the most accurate parody of the three.

The Uncler is Funny or Die’s parody of Darren Aronofsky’s The Wrestler, starring Seth Morris as Uncle Sam, the down and out American mascot who needs to make a comeback and fix the economy. Alyssa Milano co-stars as his partiotic stripper friend. Written and Directed by Jake Szymanski, this is pretty good.

Where has Alyssa Milano been?

It might be more successful than Chris Isaak’s attempt at comedy. John Mayer’s lack of caring is almost refreshing. He seems to be a guy enjoying his life and it’s almost weird that he’s better at comedy than he is at making music. He killed on the Chappelle Show and there was the funny clip of him speaking Japanese to Ryan Seacrest.

Like Gabe at Videogum says, “he’s not playing with his image at this point, he’s donkey punching it and then leaving it by a highway exit ramp.”

Regardless: his music = shit (except for the blues stuff when he straight kills it), his personality = A

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