Um, actually, she’s number TWO

Kevin Federline‘s lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan went to court this morning with a request to change Britney Spears‘ visitation rights regarding sons Sean, 2, and Jayden, 1, because he claimed she violated her random drug testing, in that she missed 8 of 14 tests. This counts as 8 fails. She is required to be tested twice a week and she is also required to give a urine sample within 6 hours of being called. Anne Kiley, Britney’s attorney, said that Britney is virtually unreachable because she is constantly changing her cell phone number since it sometimes falls into the wrong hands. She told the judge (via TMZ), her client has received calls as early as 8:00 AM. Kiley said pop stars don’t get up that early, adding, “You are not a pop star with a number one album, so you don’t know.” The courtroom erupted in laughter.

Well, Anne, Britney is behind the Eagles, making her a number TWO popstar. And she doesn’t really seem to care, or bother promoting the album. A tour? Please.

It makes me secretly pleased that the courtroom all laughed at that ridiculous statement, but I’m disappointed the judge fell for such bullshit: [he] “is open to a more flexible timetable that works for Brit.”

Ultimately, both sides were unable to reach an agreement, so they will be back in court next Tuesday to present a complete plan to the judge. He left the visitation order the same as he ruled Oct. 26, but did make one change: “Brit must notify her lawyer immediately when she changes her cell phone number. Apparently, she changes her number as often as she changes her clothes, and he’s over it! He told her attorney that she must then immediately contact Kevin’s lawyer, and then call the drug testing facility. That’s some phone tree! The judge told her lawyer, “Basically, the testing facility needs a number they can call and get a response.”

Kiley explained to the court that just because Britney doesn’t respond to the drug tests doesn’t mean she’s using. I say 6 hours is more than enough time to get someone else’s piss. Kaplan communicated that KFed is overly concerned about the welfare of his children. I say he’s still overly concerned with Britney’s money (she is afterall, paying his legal fees–and I’m pretty sure Mark Vincent Kaplan is more “Law & Order” than “Night Court”).

And Britney’s hair looks eerily familiar…shades of Travolta in “Battlefield Earth”?


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