Skunk on the loose


Things just keep going from bad to worse to worser for Britney Spears, and I’m not even referring to her weirdly-colored weave. E! News reported over the weekend that she is now being charged with two misdemeanor counts, a hit-and-run causing property damage and driving without a valid California drivers license, stemming from an August 6 accident in the parking lot of a vitamin store in Studio City, California. Spears clipped the right bumper of Kim Robard-Rifkin’s Mercedes pulling in to a spot, and with a paparazzi circle around her own Mercedes, the incident was caught (excruciatingly) on film.

Robard-Rifkin initially told reporters she hoped Spears would do the right thing and take responsibility for her actions. But we know Britney better than that. This is, after all, the girl who entered an intensive rehab facility only to leave less than 24 hours later, claiming her parents and manager forced her into rehab against her wishes. Checkmate in the Blame Game.


But alas, Spears did nothing but comically raise her hand to her mouth in an “Oops, I Did it Again” face, and Robard-Rifkin filed a police report August 9. “It was simply like my car didn’t matter to her, my inconvenience didn’t matter to her,” Robard-Rifkin told at the time.

To sort through all the Britney goings-on, and to see how progressively worse things have gotten for the pop singer, I’ve compiled a timeline of last week’s events:

–>Monday 9/17: The hearing for Britney and KFed‘s custody battle, in which lawyer Gloria Allred revealed her secret witness, former Britney bodyguard Tony Barretto, who alleged drug use, nudity, and neglect on the part of the children. Not so good for Britney. She is also dropped by her manager Jeff Kwatinetz, of the Firm in L.A. today (quotes US Weekly: “Current circumstances have prevented us from properly doing our job,” he said) as well as her lawyer, Laura Wasser. Monday Funday!

–>Tuesday 9/18: The judge ordered Spears to, among other things, submit to random drug testing twice a week and undergo parental counseling?both individually and in joint sessions with Federline?if she wants to maintain the joint custody arrangement (a generous 50/50 split for Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1). Britney later goes out partying that evening to a few LA hotspots. Also not the smartest move if she cares at all about maintaining custody of her kids.

–>Wednesday 9/19 and Thursday 9/20: Spears goes out into the wee hours of morning both nights, against the orders of the judge on her custody case.

–>Friday 9/21: Spears is charged with two misdemeanors and photographed tearfully leaving Sorrell Trope‘s office, her recently acquired attorney, after a consultation. On a positive note, Brit makes the cover of US Weekly yet again. On a negative note, it’s for being an irresponsible mother (probs the 18th time this year they’ve reported on that topic).


Honestly, I held off on reporting this story because I’m nearly at a loss as to what to say about Britney anymore. Yes, she has problems, lots of them (understatement). Yes, she isn’t the best 25-year-old mom I know (understatement). Yes, she was lifeless and droopy at the VMAs (understatement). She is reminding me of the Maurice Sendak story “I’m Pierre, I Don’t Care”, about the boy who didn’t care so much he was eaten by a lion (Hollywood metaphors abound!). And I just don’t get people who don’t care; about themselves, about others, about the state of the world. So I guess I just have to leave it at that: I don’t get Britney Spears.

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