Duke it out, MySpace-style

lohanstolemyman1.jpg


IMAGE COURTESY OF NATIONAL ENQUIRER

I posted yesterday about Bree Tierney, the scorned woman behind Lindsay Lohan‘s new love, snowboarder/rehabber Riley Giles. New developments, she has (according to The National Enquirer) / hasn’t (according to Bree herself) given an interview about her former fiancee’s involvement with The Vulture. Via Dlisted, here are some excerpts. Bree first met Lindsay at a patients’ meeting at the Cirque Lodge, where both Riley and Lindsay were being treated for addiction (why Bree was allowed to attend is questionable, unless it was a family meet-n-greet):

“She came into the meeting with Riley, and she comes over and sits next to me, being overly nice. She was complimenting me on my hair and trying to be my friend. It didn’t seem sincere at all.

“A few days later, I get a text message from Riley telling me he wanted to ‘take a break.’ I knew instantly it was because of Lindsay.”

Riley and Bree were together for three years, and planning on getting married (but it depends whom you talk to; Riley is denying there was an engagement while Bree actually has the cheap cubic zirconia ring he gave her!). Until Lindsay entered the picture.

“But when he finally confessed to me that he had sex with Lindsay in one of the stairwells at Cirque ? that was it, we were done. Lindsay has no morals and needs some serious help ? besides drug rehab ? for all her other problems.”

News for you: so does your ex-fiancee.

91753695.jpg


IMAGE COURTESY OF TMZ (Riley’s mugshot for writing a forged prescription)

But not they’ve taken to their MySpace pages, a la Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler during one of their many divorce/reconciliation periods, and Crazy Days and Nights has the entire exchange, supposedly leaked by one of Riley’s “friends.” Warning: if you’re a word nerd, please take this time to heavily sigh and light a candle honoring the passing of appropriate grammar in speech and writing, and batten down the hatches for the advent of text-speak, atrocious spelling, and frequent abbrevs.

From: Riley
Date: 17/10/2007

naah i went fuckin physco yesterday, they took all my shit away from me! OVER YOU!why are u runnin to the tabloids with these fake stories? wtf, whats going on? u & ur moms talkin to everyone! i shouldnt have to defend myself to everyone, and linds is not a homewrecker & u know that!

From: breezkie
Date: Oct 17, 2007 10:42 PM

thats fine way over it as well, one question why u denying the engagement and why did you come talk to mt and say u wanted me back, then go w her. i loved ur family they were the only normal people i could call my family that ive ever had in my life, i had you and i thought things were gonaa get better after we drove around and talked but no she got yah all smittened and star struck, so yah she is a home wrecker and ull find out who really cared for ou in the long run! Ue kidding urself ri! good riidannce and one word karma. yah and its not fair that i gotta wear a beanie hoodie and sunglasses in order to go outta the house. its one thing to go thru a break up but its another thing to have it spread in ur face every where! and people chasing me down wanting info. taking pictures ts crazy and sux. what do you mean they took all ur shit away?

From: Riley
Date: 17/10/2007

peoples chasin you down? you serious? nobody knew about u until u ran to the media! our engagement was NEVER official, just somethin we talked about, idk wut to do im just so mad over this whole situation, was that you spreadin my mugshot all ovea the internet as well? REALLY low. u WERE my rock. i thought things were gonna change but u had to go and ruin it, im not starstruck by anyomne, you just dont get it AT all. karam DOES suck, i just dont get why your talkin to everyone, its no ones business but OURS. we needa have a chat, SERIOUSLY 1 on 1, god knows who ur gonna sell this fuckin message to

From: breezkie
Date: Oct 17, 2007 11:02 PM

i didnt run my mouth they found me! they knew about nicole and everything i dont know how theyed get her name. our names are repoted as our last address and they knew who i was so they came to me to find me like 5 diff mags i have a lawyer now cause of all this shit theyre attackin me holmes. i agree we need to have a 1 on 1 talk, yah know some closure r whatever. it can be totally private i wont let any one know. same would have to go for you though! You down?

From: Riley
Date: 17/10/2007

please, please…. u have no fucking idea of wut im going threw right now, never felt like this EVER….!!! 1on1, im so down…. idk how we gonna do this, theres peoples outside right now waitin for me to peek out tha window, its fuckin crazy.. i wish i could call you,how much u gettin for these interviews?

From: breezkie
Date: Oct 17, 2007 11:09 PM
call me

From: Riley
Date: 17/10/2007
i CANT bitch

From: breezkie
Date: Oct 17, 2007 11:22 PM

you jus said u wish u could why cant you? well if u decide to call and i dnt answer leave a message. ur num still the same? u dnt know how crazy my life is. poparrazzi wtf i never expected that one comin, me runnin from pop and radio stations want to have me on air. one guy even said he wanted to do a reality show i was like hell no man wtf? these people are scavangers!

From: Riley
Date: 17/10/2007

you fuckin love it. they wouldnt want more, if u wouldnt have opened ur mouth@!how much did u make off the interviews?

This is voyeurism at its extreme, but I posted this more as a tribute to the abomination of grammar/speech in the tween, teen, and twenty-something generations. Strunk & White must be rolling in their graves. Now I am certainly one for abbrevs and acronyms, but I know when to draw the line. I feel like some people actually think their thoughts in “LOL/KIT/ROFL/LMAO/IDK speak. And I can’t read “idk” without thinking of that phone commercial where the mom asks the grandma who she was talking/texting, and she responds, “IDK. My BFF, Rose.”

Comments on this entry are closed.