Tonight’s tube action

Sturgeon General’s Warning: With all of the premieres of new and returning shows in the next couple of weeks, the danger of TV overdose is high. Symptoms include, but are not limited to, permanent butt prints in your couch, tendonitis of the thumb, Dorito-stained fingers, and eyes that feel like you just spent 12 hours in a highly-chlorinated pool.

I myself plan to try and limit myself to no more than two hours of prime time a day; since I currently have no Tivo —

“Gasp! Omigod! Surely, he must be joking!”

I’m not joking and stop calling me Shirley — that means that I must be selective. The first hour is easy.

At 8 p.m., I gotta give Back to You a try, with two giants of TV comedy, Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton, as bickering anchorpersons with a shared past. From what I’ve seen so far, the writing is as sharp as the cast (you can also catch full episodes on FOX’s website).


‘Back to You’ could have a secret weapon in funnyman Fred Williard. The sitcom has been generating plenty of good buzz, even with the caveat of it being a “traditional” sitcom.
Unfortunately, I’ve never been a ‘Til Death fan, the lead out for Back to You. I figure the 8:30-9:00 slot will give me a chance to hone my high-speed remote surfing skills switching between Deal or No Deal (NBC), America’s Next Top Model (CW) and Dancing With the Stars (ABC). I can’t wait to check out Jane Seymour. The woman’s ageless beauty defies the laws of nature.


Again, many choices at 9:00 pm. Gossip Girl looks a little too Sex in the City meets The O.C. for my taste. (To my mind, the habitues of the Manhattan subculture the show covers–Paris and Nicole types, with only slightly less money–are a complete waste of oxygen). Though it is narrated by Oyster-fav Kristen Bell and stars the flawlessly beautiful Blake Lively (Accepted, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants).

And Criminal Minds is now Patinkinless. Not that I dislike Joe Mantegna. House of Games and Homicide = incredibly good films. I’ll probably try to catch ?Minds? in reruns.

I have already expressed high hopes for Bionic Woman. I will at least have to give it a few weeks to prove itself.

Thursday, I’ll have to switch from the couch to the chair. I hate permanent butt prints.

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