The Sly Oyster | culture & entertainment on the sly

Regular readers know we’ve been following the developments of the live action G.I. Joe movie.  We’re fence sitting.  Some stuff seems good, some bad, other stuff completely indifferent.  Today, photos have been popping up online all over the place of the cast.  Thankfully, Peter gathered them all together.  His analysis that the images are all lame might be overreaching, but it certainly is in the ballpark.  We get first looks at Destro, General Hawk, Duke, The Baroness, Storm Shadow, Breaker, Heavy Duty and Ripcord.

The problem with G.I. Joe is the cartoon, when looking back on it, was probably pretty lame.  And it’s almost impossible to adapt something that is kitschy to begin with.  Especially given the outfits and uniforms.  And that’s just from a design standpoint.  Never mind on a story, believability, funness or whatever other metric you want to use to judge the end product.

Sometimes, when a product starts off bad, there’s almost no recovering from it.  That certainly looks to be the case here.  Not across the board.  Some of the stuff has me intrigued, but has left me skeptical until proven otherwise.

Sometimes Hollywood timing is impeccable. Early this morning, Kiefer Sutherland was pulled over for making an illegal U-turn and -surprise!- blew twice the legal limit. Coincidentally, TMZ reports that the Alliance of Canadian Cinema, Television and Radio Artists (ACTRA) has announced that they are honoring Sutherland today for his “commitment to Canada and Canadian performers” but suspiciously (but understandably), the event will be closed to the press. Since this is the Keif’s second DUI, he could face a minimum of five days in jail if convicted. But like most court cases, he’s got a couple of weeks to think about what he’s done (said in stern Mom voice) until he has to appear October 16.
IMAGE COURTESY OF TMZ.COM

Sharon Osbourne recently claimed that Courtney Love was the one who introduced her son Jack to OxyContin when he was still a teenager (Jack was treated for addiction in 2003), but Courtney says, “I never did that. I would never give drugs to a teenager. Fuck you Sharon - as if I would ever give drugs to a teenager.” From DListed: “She also insists she never even heard of OxyContin before she met Jack. So basically Court is saying Jack introduced that shit to her!” Uh, I don’t know if I believe that COURTNEY LOVE who DID HEROIN WHILE PREGNANT with Kurt Cobain’s baby (now the pleasantly normal Frances Bean) had never heard of Oxy. Even Matthew Perry has.

Classy ladies Sienna Miller and Kate Moss got drunk at a wedding this weekend and into a catfight. Kate accused Sienna of stealing her style, but sources say it was jealousy over Sienna’s fuck-buddy, Brit actor Rhys Ifans, who is close friends with Kate. Sienna says that Rhys just crashes on her couch, but Kate’s having none of that. Did anyone else feel like I just rehashed junior year homecoming?

I’ve kinda had it with Brit news, so if you want incredibly juicy details of her bizarro lifestyle and repeated screw-ups, check out MSN’s Hot Gossip article, which covers nearly everything former bodyguard and secret witness Tony Barretto has dished to a multitude of news sources, including the “Today” show and the Daily News.