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If only all conflicts could be settled in bikinis on the beach by attractive women.? One would think the supposed ceasefire between Russia and Georgia would ease tensions between the two countries, enough so that they could have a friendly match during Olympic Beach Volleyball.? Ah, but the match only heightened the tension.

Unfortunately for the Russians, Georgia decided to import their players from Brazil, which is like beach volleyball capital of the world.? That’s just low.

?We were not playing against the Georgian team today,? sniffed Natalia Uryadova after losing 12-15 in the third and deciding set. ?We were playing against the Brazilian team. If they are Georgian, they would have been influenced [by the war], but certainly they are not.?

Alexandra Shiryaeva, her slightly less sulky team-mate, quickly tired of comparisons between the match and geopolitics.?There was no politics in this game - these girls are Brazilian. I don?t suppose they even know who the Georgian president is,? she said.

Oh snap!? As if killing peace keepers and civilians weren’t enough.? But they’re right.? Beach volleyball is no place for geopolitics, especially when it’s so difficult to ascertain exactly what the hell is going on in South Ossetia.

[Minor aside: Yes, Russia is being painted as the bad guy by the traditional media since Georgia is a pro-USA democracy.? But none of the reports have parsed what exactly brought on the tension between the two countries and how South Ossetia, a breakaway republic for the past 20 years,? fits into that tension. Can anyone explain?]

But back to the war at the nets.? The two Georgian players have only visited the country twice!? Twice!? They promise to visit the country after the Olympics to say thanks because the two were drafted by President Saakashvili’s wife, who’s an avid beach volleyball player.

Doesn’t this trivialize the Olympics?? I mean would it be fair if the US offered citizenships to Kenyan runners?? Or began importing Chinese table tennis players?? When the spirit of the Olympics (which includes fighting wars during the games) is compromised by offering athletic positions to more dominating players from other countries than what’s the freakin’ point.? I get that even professional athletes compromises the Olympic Spirit, but this takes things to a new low.

Hope you’re happy Georgia.