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Sometimes Hollywood timing is impeccable. Early this morning, Kiefer Sutherland was pulled over for making an illegal U-turn and -surprise!- blew twice the legal limit. Coincidentally, TMZ reports that the Alliance of Canadian Cinema, Television and Radio Artists (ACTRA) has announced that they are honoring Sutherland today for his “commitment to Canada and Canadian performers” but suspiciously (but understandably), the event will be closed to the press. Since this is the Keif’s second DUI, he could face a minimum of five days in jail if convicted. But like most court cases, he’s got a couple of weeks to think about what he’s done (said in stern Mom voice) until he has to appear October 16.
IMAGE COURTESY OF TMZ.COM

Sharon Osbourne recently claimed that Courtney Love was the one who introduced her son Jack to OxyContin when he was still a teenager (Jack was treated for addiction in 2003), but Courtney says, “I never did that. I would never give drugs to a teenager. Fuck you Sharon – as if I would ever give drugs to a teenager.” From DListed: “She also insists she never even heard of OxyContin before she met Jack. So basically Court is saying Jack introduced that shit to her!” Uh, I don’t know if I believe that COURTNEY LOVE who DID HEROIN WHILE PREGNANT with Kurt Cobain’s baby (now the pleasantly normal Frances Bean) had never heard of Oxy. Even Matthew Perry has.

Classy ladies Sienna Miller and Kate Moss got drunk at a wedding this weekend and into a catfight. Kate accused Sienna of stealing her style, but sources say it was jealousy over Sienna’s fuck-buddy, Brit actor Rhys Ifans, who is close friends with Kate. Sienna says that Rhys just crashes on her couch, but Kate’s having none of that. Did anyone else feel like I just rehashed junior year homecoming?

I’ve kinda had it with Brit news, so if you want incredibly juicy details of her bizarro lifestyle and repeated screw-ups, check out MSN’s Hot Gossip article, which covers nearly everything former bodyguard and secret witness Tony Barretto has dished to a multitude of news sources, including the “Today” show and the Daily News.

Not sure what to get your elementary school aged cousin or nephew or niece for their birthday? Well have we got the ultimate present for you. Now they can tote Kurt Cobain in lunchbox form and show all the other first graders just how cool they really are.

The fun won’t stop at lunchboxes, however, as Courtney Love has liscensed the late Kurt Cobain’s likeness to the National Entertainment Collectables Association and they plan to creat Cobain action figures, key chains that double as flasks and of course, lunchboxes.

One can only hope this will spark a flannel revolution among kids everywhere. But without all the depression, drug use and cigarette smoking. Cause that would be bad for a six year old.

Is tasteless a word?

You know in the realm of crazy assed publicity stunts to promote a tour or a new record this one not only takes the cake but it stores the left overs in the creepy tupperware box.

Courtney Love has hired a Kurt Cobain look-a-like for her latest tour. From NME:

Posting on her blog, Love wrote: “Another (guy) I found out later models on the side…but I’ll admit it, I really hired him ‘cos he looks so much like Kurt. It’s weird, and he can play really well. He didn’t kill me but he swore if I gave him a week he’d learn everything. He’s blonde and soooooooo beautiful and his guitar playing is great.”

She continued: “The other is a guy from band called Larrakin Love. His guitar playing blew me away because it’s just so fucking MODERN. Its’ Jonny Greenwood and Jack White and now and he’s not stuck in any nineties rut.”

Love also hinted that she plans to play a secret London show on her birthday, July 9. She wrote: “So London is on my bday, BUT I CAN’T SAY WHERE, and NY is on the 12th or 13th and the Roxy (in Los Angeles) is a few days after that.”

Love concluded by saying that she’s recording a new song, tentatively titled ‘Crashing Down’, which “rocks really hard”.

So to recap. Courtney Love has a new record coming out and a new tour and everyone yawns all over. But then she announces she’s hired a guitar player who looks exactly like her legendary dead husband and we all get up in arms and pay attention. Publicity stunt to end all publicity stunts we say.

I think I’m going to retch on myself.