http://slyoyster.com

Because we don’t do nearly enough stories on the Sly aimed solely at our creepy older male audience, I thought we should add this one. A 22-year-old who recently graduated from Sacramento State University is auctioning off her virginity to the highest bidder on the Bunny Ranch website; eBay reportedly turned her down. She says she’s not just looking for the highest bidder, but also someone genuine. Proving that not all college graduates are smart…or sexually promiscuous.

Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the point of an auction that whoever bids the highest wins? Besides no matter who it is, whether it’s the highest or the fifth highest bidder, anyone who participates in bidding on someone?s virginity is genuinely creepy.

Alright, let me step down off my high horse and admit that I was at a strip club once, accidentally sitting next to Dennis Hof, the owner of the Bunny Ranch. I had four wrinkled dollar bills, the remnants of a night of drinking, and he had built a pyramid of nice, crisp ones for the ladies. Needless to say I got ignored and to think I could have bought another drink with that money.