http://slyoyster.com

  • New Trends


    Via BuzzFeed
  • Music Releases

  • Good Tunes

The hottest women on television

So, it’s been quite a while since I’ve had a chance to post, and I’m going back to an old favorite of mine: Totally Hot Women on TV.

Lest you think that I’m some wretched fanboy living in a basement who has nothing better to do than fantasize about women that I’ll never meet, I should point out that I live in an attic and not a basement. And that I passed whatever the maximum age is that can be classified as “fanboy” several years ago. As to the rest, no comment.

In one of my last posts, I was arguing for the idea that we had entered a new Golden Age in television, particularly for the hour drama. I think we may have achieved Diamond status for the IBBSI (incredibly Beautiful Babes per Square Inch). Telemundo and Univision are solidly in the Platinum category (if you ignore futbol) but we have definitely narrowed the gap.

Even sticking with only the shows that might be worth watching—ie., not much CW or Fox, no E! or Lifetime or Spike—the list is long, so I’ve separated it into two parts. First, the dramas. Second, reality shows and traditional sitcoms.

I’ll try to limit individual comments, and just list the women by show, but obviously feel free to add to the list in the comments or give us grief/props for our selections.  MORE »

Posted in: Television
Tags: , , , , , , , |

3 Comments »

Goal II: Living the Dream

For the past decade or so, sports movies have pretty much been relegated to the touchy-feeling Disney variety. They have a very specific formula and often times they’re not bad, it’s just there’s something saccharin about them. It’s like watching one constant rip off of Hosiers after another. The best example of this is Miracle; how do you sort of screw up one of the greatest sports stories ever? You know? The movies okay, but it wasn’t great. And when it comes to sports movies I want greatness.

The rare exception was a little seen movie called Goal: The Dream Begins. It’s about a kid from Los Angeles, Santiago Munoz, the son of a Mexican immigrant, who gets the chance to play soccer for Newcastle United. It bucked convention because the character that would normally be his “antagonist” actually became his mentor in the movie and the entire story was about Santiago working hard and trying to make the most of his opportunity. It worked because it wasn’t played as one of those underdog-overcomes-all-odds-to-win-when-noone-thought-otherwise sports porn flicks that Disney purveys in.

So you can imagine my surprise when I learned they turned it into a planned trilogy and actually went ahead and made part II. This time Santiago (Kuno Becker) gets transferred to Real Madrid to play with Becks and soak up the big time, which of course strains his relationship with his special lady friend (the irrepressibly cute Anna Friel). If the movie keeps the smarts and reality of the first movie we’ll be in good hands. If you’re looking for a decent sports flick then rent the first one and catch the second one when it rolls into theaters on Aug. 29.

Also, it should be noted that I’m not a huge football soccer fan and I enjoyed the hell out of the first movie. Though I can imagine it’s possible an actual soccer fan might find it hokey or the action scenes on the pitch unrealistic.

Posted in: Movies, trailers
Tags: , , |

No Comments »

Pushing Daisies – overdue praise for the piemaker and props

Gotta Give Them Their Props.

If you read Neil Gaiman or Terry Pratchett of Douglas Adams you are probably already watching Pushing Daisies. If you are a fan of Tim Burton’s movies, you really should be watching. ABC’s Pushing Daisies is one of the best shows going on television. It’s a sweet natured story, created by Bryan Fuller – a man with a history of creating similar shows such as Wonderfalls and Dead Like Me.

pushingdaisies.jpg

A quick recap:

Ned is The Piemaker, a character who had a strange, Oliver Twist, Dickensian childhood, although the setting is neither in England nor the Victorian era. He has the ability to touch people and bring them back to life for up to one minute, after which he touches them again and they are gone forever.

Charlotte Chuck Charles was the unattainable object of Ned’s childhood affection. She was a mermaidoddly enough, not a real mermaid, just a member of a famous family of synchronized swimmers. When she dies as an adult (in the pilot episode), Ned is able to revive her and keep her alive, but if he ever touches her again she’s dead for good.

Olive Snook is the Piemaker’s assistant, who had her eyes on Ned, and consequently has a prickly relationship with Chuck.

And Emerson Cod (don’t you love these names!) is a private detective. Ned decides he should use his powers to wake corpses, ask how they died, and perhaps solve their murders. Emerson helps in these investigations.

The stories are cute, and given a nice little twist by a Fractured Fairy Tales type narrator, but what makes this unlike anything you’ve seen on television is the production design. Although everything in the world except Ned is normal (at least in the sense of not supernatural), the look of the houses, stores, schools, town is right out of the village in Big Fish, maybe with a little Pee Wee’s Playhouse thrown in.

In the look of the show, I would have to include the casting. Lee Pace manages to make Ned seem constantly mournful, perhaps regretting all the missed affection from his childhood. Anna Friel as Chuck has an almost preternatural whimsical appeal, which makes you understand why Ned would want to keep her around even if he can never touch her. She couldn’t be cuter if she was a basket of puppies. Kristin Chenoweth is very funny, because she is small and cute, but her character Olive is a little annoying.

And special kudos to the props. Among which I would have to include Kristin’s breasts. This is not because I am a breast-obsessed uncouth male dickhead. For one thing, I am an ass man, thank you very much. But for such a small woman (4′11), she has these incredibly round, full, and yes, jiggly breasts. In the show, they seem to have a life of their own which is why I am including them as a prop.

But the number one propagain stretching the definition a bitis the hilarious make up effects on the various maimed, mutilated, burned, etc. corpses. They aren’t funny in the over-the-top-horror way of, for example, the zombies in Roberto Rodriguez’s Planet of Terror. They are outright, laugh-out-loud funny. Exaggerated tire treads on a victim who was run over, horsehoe prints on the face of one who was trampled, you gotta see ‘em to believe ‘em. And then you’ll be hooked.

In short (I know, too late) props for the props of this whimsical, hyper-real fairy tale.

Pushing Daisies airs Wednesday at 8 p.m. on ABC. If you missed any of the episodes you can catch up at ABC.com

Posted in: Television
Tags: , , |

No Comments »