We’ve all had that moment. It comes on quickly. That “oh shit” feeling, literally. You’re out with friends having a pint or two or out for a long jog (I believe the j is silent) and you’ve got to go pooh. I know, I know. It’s hard to talk about something serious when we’re using the word pooh. But we’re going to try.
So you go find the nearest bathroom, not necessarily the nicest one, and you run into this (now in the interest of having this scene make sense you could very well be a heroin junkie and finally getting sober, which brings on the runs instead of an upstanding citizen out walking your dog. We don’t judge.):
Good god we don’t want that to happen! But it has happened to all of us. The shitting toilet, not necessarily the drugs or climbing into the toilet part. Let’s stop having to rely on the convenience of the worst toilets available for something that’s a little bit nicer. You buy nice shoes, good alcohol, decent kitchen gadgets and top of the line gaming consoles. You certainly shouldn’t settle for just an old toilet.
Yup, there is now a service that will alert you to where the best toilets in your city are. Mizpee is conducting a survey where you can vote for the best and worst toilets in your city and after June 15 they’ll have the requisite information to send to your cellphone.
So that way, when the you’re out running and the runs come on quickly you won’t have to worry about getting some disease from first available toilet. Besides, it wasn’t just Elvis that loved poohing on golden pristine toilets. Everybody wants that. Even those not brave enough to admit it.
Vote below. I’m pretty sure this will take you straight to the Portland, Ore. voting section. But really this very serious issue is for cities across the country. So go vote. It’s your Patriotic duty. It’s what Obama and Clinton would want you to do. Even if it means stuffing the ballot box several times.
MizPee founders Peter Olfe and Dhana Pawar, who live in San Francisco, launched the site?s beta version in 2007. Over 2.5 million people have visited the website since it went live. And they’re going international, which is a good thing.
Because one time I had to pooh in Italy (some little fishing village) and their public toilet was a small block of concrete with a hole in the middle. So I had to expertly squat over the hole, um, with nothing to hold onto and try to score the double bullseye by not getting anything on me and also getting everything into said hole. Yeah, I could’ve used Mizpee back then.