Snoop Dogg Smokes Himself Retarded, Emerges as Snoop Lion

Not the Onion:

Snoop Dogg changed his name to “Snoop Lion” after a spiritual awakening in Jamaica this February, which he described to reporters at a press conference on Monday. […]

Snoop told reporters that he was rechristened Snoop Lion by a Rastafarian priest.

“I want to bury Snoop Dogg, and become Snoop Lion,” he told reporters, according to “I didn’t know that until I went to the temple, where the High Priest asked me what my name was, and I said, ‘Snoop Dogg.’ And he looked me in my eyes and said, ‘No more. You are the light; you are the lion.’ From that moment on, it’s like I had started to understand why I was there.”

So that happened.

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