Pretend you’re in a goth metal band

Let’s all take a moment to pretend we live in Italy and are members of a gothic metal band.  Okay, do you have the image in your head?  Maybe in between rehearsals we’re sipping espresso instead of PBRs, I don’t know.  Anyway, let’s also pretend that your guitar player isn’t quite up to snuff.  He’s an okay guitar player.

Do you A) find a replacement guitar player B) rerecord his parts on the album without his knowledge C) Stab him dozens of times until he becomes hospitalized, or D) fire him from the band and move on with the group as is?

If you answered C, then you’re the big winner.  Or loser.  Either way, that actually happened.

Police in Genoa, on Italy’s northwestern coast, said the 16-year-old victim remained hospitalized, but his life was not in danger.

He was attacked Saturday night after the band Soul Cry rehearsed in Sestri Ponente, a small town near Genoa. He was stabbed about 50 times, mainly to his back and head, said police official Alessandra Bucci in Genoa.

The 18-year-old singer, Cristina Balzano, and her 16-year-old brother, the band’s bass player, were arrested on charges of premeditated attempted murder.

During the rehearsal, band members accused the victim of playing poorly, police said. The attack occurred moments later in a narrow alley.

Balzano was caught by police holding a kitchen knife with a 7-inch (18-centimeter) blade, her brother next to her and the victim in a pool of blood, Bucci said.

“The motive, absurd as that is,  is apparently that the way my client played his instrument did not satisfy the two,” said Giuseppe Maria Muscolo, a lawyer for the victim.

Police said they had seized a note that the 16-year-old suspect wrote to the victim days before the attack that read: “I’m preparing a nice little funeral for you.”

Talk about playing to the stereotypes.  Ozzy loves you.

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