Cookin’ wit Coolio

When he’s not getting down on the dance floor in a gangster’s paradise after taking a fantastic voyage or teaching kids to count (hell, he was the original 1-2-3-4 long before Feist co-opted him), washed up rap star – and we use the term star loosely – Coolio likes to cook with his peeps out on his deck.

In that way he’s a lot like you or I. Where we diverge from Coolio, however, is quickly thereafter. Coolio can’t really cook and his posse is waaaay funnier and waaaay more awesomer than our investment banker friends. Cuz they would never dress up in costume to help you during your cooking show.

Shaka zulu! Here Coolio and the gang, which does include grown men dressed as stuffed animals and women dressed up like pirates teach us the hidden value of shrimps, seasoned salt, malt liquor and lemon rinds.

The lyrical breakdown to “Gangster’s Paradise” has never been more apropos. “Everybody’s running, something something something / what’s going on in the kitchen? / but I don’t know what’s cooking / they say I’ve got to learn but no one’s here to teach me”

Thankfully, Coolio took heed to break the vicious cycle.

Full warning, this may be the dumbest and funniest shit you’ll watch all week. Especially for the line “you have to coagulate your fish” or “some barbecue sauce slid in me today” or “watch this kitchen pimp! I can rub the grill.”

If SNL still had a pulse this would have been a skit on their show at some point.

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