Review: Drillbit Taylor

So I desperately wanted to watch a really bad movie last night. I was in the mood to see something so atrocious that it might end up being humorous. The choices came down to Strange Wilderness, that Steve Zahn shark movie, Fools Gold with Matt McConaughey and Katie Hudson, 10,000 BC the prehistoric fantasy flick and Drillbit Taylor.

Drillbit ended up looking like the best of a sorry lot. I took the metaphorical mangy dog home with me and I’m happy to report that the movie is every bit as terrible as I was hoping. I pity laughed maybe two or three times throughout the movie and genuinely laughed a few times more.

Owen Wilson stars as Drillbit Taylor, a down on his luck homeless guy who was a former Army veteran. He gets hired by these three sad luck high school freshman who need him as a body guard. Of course Taylor tricks the high school into letting him become a substitute teacher so he can watch out for the kids and protect them from the school bully. He falls for one of the teachers and the unstable yet sexy English teacher of course falls for him.

The plot plays out exactly how you would expect it, like it was written with a great story idea but followed a screenplay 101 manual. The sad part is that the idea for the movie is great and it should have been funny, hysterical even. Unfortunately, the jokes just don’t connect, strange for a Judd Apatow comedy to be so off the mark, and instead of a funny comedy you are treated to a heartwarming Lifetime Original Movie.

I’m just disappointed that the movie wasn’t bad enough and didn’t star Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Paul Gosselaar.

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