Let’s Never Talk About Toast Again Okay?

“If you’re looking for a delicious treat — and a few extra calories — try pan-fried toast. To impress your friends, pull out the blowtorch. And when you’re stuck in a motel room and get a hankering for toast, the coffee maker should do the trick. Or just wait for a toastery to open up in your neighborhood.”

Or, just go fuck yourself. It’s toast. You put bread in a toaster oven and then smoother it with either butter, peanut butter, or jam. Pick one, or two, but never all three at once and never anything other than those three options. No toaster oven equals no toast.

I in awe of Pacific Standard Magazine’s profile of Giulietta Carrelli, founder of San Francisco’s Trouble Coffee & Coconut Club and probably responsible for the artisanal toast craze, as much as the next hipster, journalist, blogger, gadfly person sitting in front of their computer, but let’s not over-think this shit, shall we NPR?

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