Lifehacker examines the affects of alcohol on your body and the entire piece just makes me sad. . . Because I like drinking, natch: “The studies and implications are numerous, to say the least, but if you want a thumbnail understanding of how alcohol, as Shakespeare put it, “provokes the desire, but … takes away the performance,” it has to do with the firing of nerves, in the brain and elsewhere, that would relax the arteries enough to get both parties moving. It’s a bit more complex than that, and drinking in moderation can be a net benefit in some cases, but alcohol, paradoxically, doesn’t help one specific region of your self to ‘relax.'” Sad face emoticon, indeed.