Though we try to catch all the splendid culture, entertainment, liberal arts and shenanigans swimming in the internet ocean, sometimes it’s too vast for one person to fish. As hard as we work, stuff always gets through the nets, so to speak.
We’re always looking for intelligent writers, with a unique perspective, passion and most importantly, with something to say. Whether it’s one time, monthly, weekly or daily, the revolving door is open to be published.
News, reviews, lists, essays, questions, interviews, rants, long-form or short, fiction or non-fiction: it all has a home here at The Sly Oyster.
Stories run with your byline: real name or not. Pay is nothing – for now. But the opportunity leads to wherever you want to take it.
Interested in the chance? Contact us.
Who Are We
Born into a clan of traveling illusionists of questionable European descent, Furbush left the hardscrabble lifestyle for the more stable life as a freelance journalist. To alleviate his disappointments he took to penning short story’s from a dank basement along the Danube River. Unfortunately, many–if not all–of his stories were obvious Dostoyevski rip offs. Despite this, he is the Managing Editor and head mollusk at The Sly Oyster, sending his dispatches by cross-atlantic freight (Portland, Ore.).
Shout out at email@example.com
A Boston Brahman by birth, Hollywood by choice. Keeping tabs on the latest internet flotsam and jetsam with a keen eye and sharp nose for the weird dribblets, Scott has always found comfort and wonderment in revealing the strange, perverse, hilarity and beautiful underbelly of the internet. With a dash of panache and wry amusement, his stories always intrigue. Scott’s biography is, like the best stories, a work in progress.
Jacob Jata aka “The Wine Guy”
Food and Drink Editor
Jacob Jata’s interest in wine initially began by drinking the uber fancy cocktail known as the wine spritzer. Only it was made with the Olive Garden house rosso and Sprite after a long day of working there. It was not until the summer after college when he was first exposed to the finest delicacies one’s palate can be indulged by. There on Martha’s Vineyard he worked at the prestigious French restaurant L’etoile, at The Charlotte Inn, a Relais & Chateaux property. This new found interest in fine food & wine would be the beginning of a gastronomical journey. Upon moving back to mainland Mass. he found a great opportunity at a new chic restaurant in Newton called Ariadne. While excelling as a server his aspirations to be a wine professional became more evident. The keen owners quickly noticed this passion and promoted him to be the Assistant Wine Director. During the three years in this position the amount of practical, theoretical and tasting knowledge he accumulated was incomprehensible. Then after a year long hiatus in the middle of the Pacific where he worked as a wine rapping hula dancer he returned to the mainland. He now lives in the Tampa area and is working his way through the Master Sommelier program. He plans to work as a buyer or consultant at the corporate level.
When not imitating a wino, he can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org
Big Rob thought he wanted to be a lawyer back in his undergrad days. Then he decided he wanted to do something that guaranteed he could never support himself or attract beautiful women, so he became a writer. So far it’s working like a charm.
Give Big Rob a big shoutout at email@example.com
Ben Smallen likes to surf the internet and find stuff. He’s really good at it too. Oddly, he contacted James Furbush clandestinely as a Freshman at Syracuse University through a mutual friend. Though the two are often at odds with one another regarding the intentions of The Others and the nature of the mysterious Island on “Lost” they remain close friends and colleagues. Smallen enjoys directing theatrical productions and short films when he is not sitting in his cubicle.
“The Artful Gamer”
The young Army brat, Dale Jones, spent three years as a kid living in Germany with no access to American TV staples such as Nickelodean or The Disney Channel, but did the 8 year-old spend time absorbing the local tongue, or in gasthauses swilling haufbrau, eating bratwurst, and pinching lederhosened serving girl bottoms? No, instead the intrepid youngster whiled away the hours alone in his room entranced by the bleeps and blips emanating from his cherished Nintendo Entertainment System. From that time on, no matter where life took him, he brought along his favorite gaming console of the era. From Arkansas to Japan, from Gameboy to Xbox 360, his friends were morethan just imaginary, they kicked more ass and took more names and saved more worlds from more deranged sociopathic anthropomorphic endbosses than just about anyone. These days, Dale hangs around Portland, still for the most part eschewing TV for gaming, though he does take time out to pinch a bottom here and there.
Looking for a cheat code? Drop Dale a line at firstname.lastname@example.org
“The TV Diva”
Charming, funny, sweet, sassy and sexy – how else could you describe our own TV Diva Tearei? (Can you guess who wrote her own bio?) Ever since Tearei was a little girl she was fascinated by famous people, which in itself is odd since she also thinks the greater part of them are overpaid, under worked, full of themselves, and account for a vast majority of waste in the world. (A limo to travel 500 feet, JLo? Really???) When she was abandoned by her rock star father and supermodel mother, Tearei began filling the void with hours and hours of unsupervised television (think HBO’s Dream On, if you will) Combine that with a knack for remembering worthless details and trivia and you’ve got one heck of a television writer.
With a home life stuffed full of crazy family, countless hours both working for family, herself and volunteering, Tearei has taken time out her crazy schedule to bring you the latest in the world of television. While her preferences lean towards shows that make her laugh or think, we’ll make sure she covers all of your favorites. Got a question for the Diva? Maybe a show you’d like to learn more about? Conspiracy theories? (In the realm of TV only please, we know the truth is out there but that is another column altogether!) Or perhaps you’d just like to compare pet peeves — just steer clear of the word “prolly” and using the phrase Mac OR PC and you’re sure to get alone just fine!
Drop her a line at email@example.com.
As a word nerd and yearbook dork, Sarah regrets not entering a quote on the staff page of the 2000 edition of the Tabulae yearbook. Instead, where others had cool-ly entered 69 references and veiled inside jokes, Sarah’s third-party quote reads, “Hi. I am Sarah Skerrett.”
So. “Hi. I am Sarah Skerrett.”
The truth of the matter is Sarah was ditching last-period yearbook in an effort to catch up on all the celeb goings-on, in an age before TMZ.com was accessible from the computer lab in fourth period English. Now a production editor at a suburban publishing company outside Chicago, she has all the time in the world to sift through celeb-related stories, rumors, video clips, and blind items (the latter being her personal fav–nearly better than crosswords!).
Please email her at firstname.lastname@example.org with any comments, questions, celebs you’d like to see covered, or gossip you may have heard that Perez didn’t get to first.
Stupid but whatevs! That’s why I avoided sending in my quote to yearbook in the first place…