A Hummingbird in Your Face

The notion that a hummingbird can fly backwards and hover has long fascinated me.  It seems impossible, or should be impossible, because they are the only bird that is capable of such feats.  The truth is, however, that such feats kind of scare me.  It makes them seem more like a giant fruit fly, rather than a majestic aviary.  I’m surprised nobody has made a movie about killer hummingbirds, just pecking shit to death.

All of that is to say that it would take something monumental to get me to wear Doyle Doss’s hummingbird feeding mask, the Eye To Eye Hummingbird Feeder ($80), which is designed to attract the birds right up in your eyehole.  And, as unnecessary inventions go, this one is a doozy since there is nothing protecting your eyeballs from being hummed at.

I’m at a loss for words really.  Here’s to hoping Doss invents the Mach 2 version of his hummingbird Iron Man outfit, which will allow birds of prey to attack people.  For shits and giggles, obviously.  [via badassdigest]

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