So this is not a joke. I mean on one level I guess it is, but really? Will this blanket, which comes armed with a layer of activated carbon, save your marriage because someone is ripping ass in the bed at night? Maybe. Will it protect you from a chemical weapon attack when your significant other tries to spray mustard gas on you because you’ve been treating them to the old dutch oven routine? One can pray. Or just spend $30 to find out. There’s even three colors to choose from!