I knew there was something I was doing wrong.
It doesn’t go without saying that there are many emaciated dudes in Portland, Ore. with this taped up to their walls or crumpled up one of their skinny jeans pockets.
Thankfully, I have a friend Steve, check, though it’s debatable whether or not my friend Steve makes me more or less cool when hanging with him.
But you really wanna know how to be cool? Be this kid below. There’s always one kid in school who seems to get it at an early age. In my case, that kid was Kevin Anderson. He was was listening to Danzig and Guns N’ Roses in Kindergarten. It probably helped that he could grow facial hair (full beard) by third grade and by fifth grade was sneaking into strip clubs. But man he was cool.