I enjoy the football, but I’m a baseball guy at heart (actually basketball but that’s not part of this discussion). Joe MacCloud succinctly makes the argument that there should be a difference between baseball and football and that baseball is ruining itself in trying to be, well, more exciting.
So howabout a few Old School Baseball Nites or Afternoons, you know? No BAMARAM-ARAMARAMARAMARAMA every time somebody adjusts their cup, eh? It won’t be, like, quiet, because there would be somebody playing Old-School Baseball Pipe Organ, OK? It’s like, the Classic Baseball musical instrument, the pipe organ! And somebody maybe has a bugle and they can do the real dah-nah-dah-nah-dah-nah-dah-nah-dah-nah-dah-nah: CHARGE thing, and it will be totally cool and mellow, like, Actual Crowd Noise and the HEYCOLDBEER guy and HEYHOTDOG guy will be relatively louder, and you’ll be able to hear the CRACK! of the bat, the WHAP! when the pitcher burns one in over the plate–all that shit, you know, the fucking Game, man. Heckling will be audible, as God intended. It’s like, people gotta wait for a lull in the BAMARAMARAMARAMARAMARAMA to yell at whatever opposing player is out there, and the players can’t hear most of the time because there’s all the BAMARAMARAMARAMARAMARAMA. Heckling is a huge part of the Classic Baseball Experience.