http://slyoyster.com

See that dude, that dude is a world champion.  He’s the best because, unlike you or me, David Traver spent 2.5 years growing his beard so that he could spend another 90 minutes weaving it into that awesome looking design.  And because of that dedication he was rewarded as having the best beard on the entire planet.

Stand and recognize people.  It turns out that Alaska is also like the Kenya of competitive beard growing.  If competitive beard growing were analogous to long-distance running.  Because if it’s not than my entire analogy falls apart.