You probably haven’t watched Saturday morning cartoons in, um, well, forever, right?  But, let this cook your noodle: there’s a Teenage Muant Ninja Turtles 25th anniversary crossover/event/cartoon movie Turtles Forever, airing tomorrow morning at 10 a.m. EST on 4Kids.tv (check local listings and all that but most likely the CW).

Holy shit! Eastman and Laird’s black-and-white original comics turtles are joining the ’80s cartoon Turtles and the ’00s cartoon Turtles in some sort of geek-tastic cartoon bacchnalia. 

Yes, I will be glued to the television tomorrow morning to see how the original TMNT incarnation will be portrayed, since they were stoic badasses.

So Tuesday night.  Good.  Because now there will be something on Tuesday worth watching.

This has been making the rounds over the past few days.  It’s pretty well done.  As Clay Davis would say, “Sheeeeeit!”

The most recent SNL Digital Short was an excellent Twilight parody.  Along with their FOX News skit, Penelope returned! and Taylor Swift’s security-aided (to keep Kanye out) musical (lalala) monologue, it was actually a decent SNL last night.

Which means that people with DVRs still sit through commercials because they’re too lazy to use a remote.  With 1/3 of US households watching television through their DVR, when factored into ratings, many shows are increasing their viewership in the  range of 7 to 12 percent, with some shows having increases of more than 20 percent.  The four networks together are averaging a 10 percent increase.

Shocking!  But there it is.  Only now have networks come to realize that just because people watch television shows on time delay or on the internet doesn’t mean that people aren’t watching shows.  Doesn’t take a genius to figure that out, but I guess it does take a television executive about three years.

It seems like an excellent premise to be reimagined with better effects and acting and more weighty themes to explore.  Why then, did I feel ho-hum about the show after last night’s premiere?

You can read plenty of recaps elsewhere, but suffice it to say there’s a lot going on.  The FX look up to snuff, the acting is all pretty darn good (how could it not be with Elizabeth Mitchell, Alan Tudyk, Morris Chestnut, Joel Gretsch, Scott Wolff, and Monica Baccarin) for a network television show and the themes are not disimilar from the recent Battlestar Galactica remake (religion, terrorism, identity, etc.). 

There were huge problems with the pilot episodes’s story arc: 1) the humans just accept the aliens with open arms, 2) the exposition/backstory is clumsily handled, 3) two of the main characters easily figure out that the lizard aliens are up to no good, 4) it’s too clean and polished.

Still, none of those complaints are what I’m having difficulty wrapping my brain around this morning.  I’ve never watched a show so anti-progressive as I did the one last night. 

And I’m not alone.  Both Time’s excellent James Poniewozik and Chicago Tribune reviewer Glenn Garvin made note of this: a telegenic messiah from a foreign and alien place comes to the United States with the promise of hope and change offers our citizens science, technology and — gasp! – universal health care. 

Make no mistake, the Obama parallel/allegory here is downright unnerving.  It’s so blatent I really thought some combination of Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh were show runners. 

Chew on this basic plot:  charismatic, attractive newcomers win the adulation of America’s youth with the promise of hope & change; they manipulate the braindead media and promise universal healthcare, but a group of real Americans are saavy to their evil (fascist?) hidden identity/agenda and will work to prevent the destruction of humanity. 

It would have been refreshing, or still can be, if the lizard aliens turn out to be the saviors of the human race.  But alas, I don’t think that will be the case.  And yet, and yet, I’m still going to tune in because there’s enough decent story threads that the show has my interest.

Thanks internets! From last week’s “Top Chef” where Padma Lakshmi and guest judge Natalie Portman drop their fair share of fellatio double entendres in 40-seconds. [via]

Some enterprising It’s Always Sunny fan took every Charlie Kelly dance sequence from Seasons 1-5 and made this highly enjoyable supercut.

Charles Kuralt was one of the myriad reasons I began doing what I do.  So it’s nice to see that some of his greatest segments have been packaged together as a DVD collection.

Seth Stevensen pays the man tribute for Slate: “There is something distinctly pre-Internet about the folks who appear in Kuralt’s reports. They harbor no ambition to become famous. They’re odd people, doing oddly beautiful things, tucked away in odd corners of the country. Nowadays, many of them might publicize their doings on personal Web sites and YouTube channels or try to scheme their way onto a reality show. But back then, it was a pleasant, one-in-a-million surprise when Kuralt rolled into town and put them on TV. “They didn’t know there was anything special about themselves,” says Kuralt’s longtime cameraman, Isadore Bleckman, “until Charles held up a mirror to them.”

What amazes me is that with the technology improvements, no one has taken up Charles Kuralt’s mantle for one of the major news organizations.

Subtle Sexuality is a girl group made up of “the beautiful and mysterious” Kelly Kapoor and “the pretty” Erin Hannon, two employees of a certain paper company in Scranton, Penn.

Their first song/video is the Auto-Tune–heavy dance jam “Male Prima Donna,” featuring guest appearances by ‘Nard Dog and Mr. Understood.

The marathon starts on Saturday Sunday at 12:30 p.m.

I jumped off the putrid 24 train after season 5, when it was quite evident the show was going to live out its days in an absurdly endless loop of Keifer Sutherland running around, doing stuff and preventing things from happening.  I don’t think it’s too much to ask to throw in a bathroom or food break just to mix things up. 

Anyways, I recognize that some people may still be into the show, so here’s a trailer for the new season.  Action moves to NYC, so that should be fun.

Not really much to go on here, but Elizabeth Mitchell was great on Lost. This premieres next Tuesday, so you won’t have to wait long to watch the entire episode.  To be honest, not much has grabbed me this television season, so I’m hoping V becomes that show.

It’s already been neutered, now that you can only watch five episodes of a show at a time, but now Hulu is basically putting their business in jeopardy by charging people to use the website.  There isn’t a timeline in place for when this will happen, but News Corp. Deputy Chairman Chase Carey hinted it would be sometime in 2010. 

Here’s the thing — Hulu’s  value is derived almost exclusively because it’s free.  The people that watch Hulu, could easily switch to Casttv.com for example, or just Bit Torrent.  It’s a risky gamble.

Sahar Sashar put together this short video with Jason Jones and Tim Greenberg of The Daily Show about their trip to Iran.  It’s no secret that Jason Jones is going to be the next big breakout star from Jon Stewart’s cabal.

He comments about the news on Whedonesque: “What can we expect from a ‘Joss Whedon’ epsiode of Glee? An episode of Glee. God willin’ and the crik don’t rise, a good one. A television director’s job is, on some level, to be anonymous; to find the most compelling way to present a story without calling attention to himself. I had a wonderful time doing just that on The Office, and hope to again. A guest director can bring a huge amount to the party (we’ve had CRAZY talent on Dollhouse), but the party isn’t his. I just want to work with good people on a show that I like enough to have watched every episode several times. (I lied: I HAVE watched the show. And seriously, when do the cops show up?).”

Someone put together this fantastic video of every entrance Kramer made on Seinfeld, in order no less.  This has been making the rounds. (thx, Tony)

Hahahahahah.  No sorry, wrong video.  This is just. Um. Well, imagine if you were tricked into going on candid camera and then instead of tom foolery Panic Face King pretended to execute people in front of you and you had no idea it wasn’t real.  It’s like The Price is Right.  Except nothing like it.  Who’s the panic face kind now?

And It’s the Great Pumpkin airs twice this month on ABC, Oct. 27 and 28, so you know, there’s that.

The funny men stopped by Fallon to chat and have Eric Idle perform their classic Life of Brian tune “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” backed by The Roots. If you were ever wondering about ?uestlove’s whistling ability, this should make it obvious he is quite the whistler.

PBS will be airing a two-hour-long documentary based on Michael Pollan’s excellent book, The Botany of Desire. The program airs October 28 at 8 p.m.

Said Preston Beckman: “If you cancel it, you’re an asshole; if you renew it and then don’t put it back on, you’re an asshole. I’m still paying for ‘Terminator.’ ‘Dollhouse’ has a small rabid fan base that in the world of social media seems bigger than it is. We gave them another season knowing full well we were going to burn in hell if we pulled it.”

As a bonus, series mastermind Joss Whedon says he’s writing Dollhouse’s season-two finale in such a way that it could serve as a series finale if it had to:

“We’ll definitely have closure, but will leave some doors open … When we got our first numbers, which were bad, the first thing [Fox president of entertainment] Kevin Reilly said was, ‘You’ll have all 13,’ which was great. They’re not going to pull the rug out from under us.”

Here’s the cast of J. J. Abrams’ Star Trek (due to copyright claim by Paramount you’ll have to watch bloopers from the original series instead) messing up scenes, engaging in general goofiness and fumbling their lines.

[via]

Produced by Bill Simmons, the lineup is fairly tight.  Well-done sports documentaries are hard to come by because often times the subject matter is just not interesting enough.  Here, Simmons has given his filmmakers the opportunity to explore less-familiar stories, or familiar stories with a new wrinkle.

“We were especially attracted to stories that resonated at the time but were eventually forgotten for whatever reason. Like the unique connection between Hank Gathers and Bo Kimble,” Simmons writes.  “Like Tim Richmond taking NASCAR by storm, disappearing just as quickly because of an “illness” (later revealed to be AIDS), then having his story covered up and dismissed. Like O.J.’s car chase, Escobar’s own goal and Jimmy the Greek’s career imploding in just a few sentences. Like the 2004 Red Sox winning four incredible games in four nights against the Yankees; even if the big picture theme had been beaten to death, the small picture theme (every remarkable twist from Game 4 through Game 7) had never really been told. We wanted people to say, “Wow, I forgot how (fill in a word: great, amazing, poignant, crazy, depressing, unbelievable) that was” or “I can’t believe I never knew that whole story.” We didn’t want to check off a laundry list of the 30 biggest stories from 1979 to 2009.” 

Barry Levinson, Albert Maysles, John Singleton, Barbara Kopple, Spike Jonze and Ice Cube are just a few of the directors who contribute. Tonight the series kicks off with Kings Ransom, Peter Berg’s piece about Wayne Gretzky being traded to the L.A. Kings.

The docs air Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET on ESPN.  You can preview several of the movies and scope out the lineup here.

According to Michael Ausiello over at EW, “talks between the actress [Helen Hunt] and NBC fell apart and the role of single mom Sarah has now been offered to (wait for it) Lauren Graham! I’m told the Gilmore Girls MVP recently met with Parenthood boss Jason Katims (dream team alert!) to discuss the plum part.” 

To be honest, I would enjoy watching her and Peter Krause verbally spar, but the thought of having to do that while watching Parenthood makes me shudder uncontrollably.

Andy Samberg fights the system by throwing shit on the ground in the latest SNL Digital Short, guest starring “Hollywood phonies” Ryan Reynolds and Elijah Wood.  It’s, um, amusing.  Certainly not The Lonely Island crew’s best effort.

Huh.  Didn’t know this was on the horizon and I’m not sure I’ll ever check it out.  But, it occurs to me that the reimagined Phantom costume looks worse than the traditional one they make fun of.  Still, I think it’s a decent concept — a kid is practically forced into the life of superheroing because of his lineage.  Could work, just think I’ll end up catching this in reruns.  It looks as bad as their Flash Gordon re-imagining.

Someone needs to inform SyFy that The Phantom is the sworn enemy of pirates and with piracy off the African coast back in the news that would have made for a far more interesting show in a contemporary setting.  [via]

Update: I’ve made my decision.  For my starting lineup I’m going with these five shows: Mad Men, Sons of Anarchy, Dollhouse, Fringe and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

The five bench shows are going to be: Psych, Numbers, Castle, How I Met Your Mother/The Office and Glee. 

My reasoning is that both Mad Men and Sons of Anarchy will end their season’s soon, allowing me to dive into AMC’s Prisoner remake in November and ABC’s V remake.  So it won’t be a big thing when Lost returns in January. 

So I’ve gotten rid of cable and watch all my television through bittorrents and streaming, bu the reality is, though I’ve cut out all the crappy pointless television, I still watch too much tv. 

I’ve decided that it’s a necessity for me to restore balance to my life,  (it’s become very one dimensional on weekdays)  by reading or doing other projects at night.  In my head I’m listening to music, playing board games, doing apartment renovations, building stuff, etc.  

It’s a decision to live a proactive life; a DIY life, me thinks. But, and this is huge, I need some help. 

I need to decide which shows I’m going to cut out of my life for good and walk away from.  This is where ya’ll come in. 

So here are all the shows I watch in no particular order, ready? Okay, deep breath:

Lost, Mad Men, Entourage, Breaking Bad, Californication, Weeds, Brotherhood, Skins, How I Met Your Mother, House, The Office, Fringe, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Sons of Anarchy, Numbers, Dollhouse, Parks and Recreation, Grey’s Anatomy, Lie To Me, Modern Familyl, Glee, Community, Flash Forward, Bones, In Treatment, Hung, Bored to Death, Psych, Burn Notice, Eureka, and I honestly think that’s it, but I feel like I’m leaving a show or two out. 

As you can see it’s a lot of television.  More than any reasonable person should watch in a week.  This list also doesn’t include recently dropped shows like 24, Heroes and Rescue Me. 

The non-negotiable shows include: Lost, Mad Men, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Dollhouse and Fringe. 

Some shows come on during the summer or I download entire seasons to save to watch during the summer when there isn’t much on: Weeds, Skins, Leverage, Breaking Bad, Burn Notice, Brotherhood, basically most shows from HBO, The BBC, cable outlets and Showtime.

Shows I’m thinking about keeping around because I enjoy them: Sons of Anarchy, Bones, Numbers (I need at least one procedural), Californication, Psych (one of the most consistantly funny shows on TV), How I Met Your Mother. 

Shows I don’t want to stop watching but feel like I wouldn’t miss them: Entourage, The Office, Parks and Recreation, Grey’s Anatomy, Modern Family, Lie to Me.

Shows too new to make a decision on: Glee, Flash Forward, and Community. 

Like I said, it’s a lot to figure out, but I’m hoping to cut down my active roster of telelvision shows to about 10, with a roster of another 5-10 for the summer or to call up from the minors (basically stuff I will follow with a casual interest).  Once Lost ends it’s run, I’ll have room to bump another show up into the permanent slot. 

Suggestions?  Strategies? Thoughts?  Recommendations? Remember, the only shows that are untouchable are the ones up top.

The season 8 premiere of Family Guy (”Road To the Multiverse”) sees Stewie and Brian travel all around the multiverse to different animated worlds.  The episode was pretty good, if only to see all the different animation styles applied to the show.  Besides Disney, Stewie and Brian became a Washington Post political cartoon, were depicted IRL, etc.

From the NY Daily News:

Comedian Jenny Slate let slip the mother of all swear words in a biker chic talk show skit that was already generously laced with “freakin’s” and “frickin’s.”

“You know what? You freakin’ just threw an ashtray full of butts at my head,” said Slate, before she got a little too carried away with her tough-girl character. “You know what? You stood up for yourself, and I f—– love you for that.”

Slate puffed her cheeks and puckered her lips in horror after the slip, but co-star Kristen Wiig didn’t miss a beat.

The incident overshadows an SNL that featured musical guest U2 and host Megan Fox.  But the “controversy” of her using a word like Fuck seems somehow antiquated, especially given SNL’s targeted audience — one that I’m guessing uses the word fuck all the time and it airs at 12:40 a.m.  It’s really only a matter of time before the word fuck is allowed on television — like shit before it and many other utterances.

I couldn’t agree more with the argument laid out by The Daily What:

Here are the facts:

1. The minced oath “frickin” was being tossed around so frequently during the infamous skit that the cast members might as well have been saying “fuckin,” and certainly could not be faulted for slipping up.
2. The skit aired at 12:40AM. Any “impressionable kid” still awake to watch it is most likely the progeny of parents who couldn’t care less if he/she hears swear words on TV.
3. Canada, where the word “fuck”is permitted on airbetween the hours of 9PM and 6AM, is justone of the many countriespresently laughing their free-speechin’ head off at this total non-issue.
4. The single, unintentional utterance of the holiest of curses, in between a minefield of euphemisms, followsa monologue with shopped porn, a skitwith a buck-naked Transformer, and the noun adjunct “penis slot.” C’MON!

So, really, surprising but certainly nothing to get our panties bunched up about.

]]> http://slyoyster.com/television/2009/jenny-slate-drops-f-bomb-during-season-premiere-of-snl/feed/ 2 http://slyoyster.com/television/2009/dollhouse-season-two-premieres-tonight/ http://slyoyster.com/television/2009/dollhouse-season-two-premieres-tonight/#comments Fri, 25 Sep 2009 20:23:34 +0000 James Furbush http://slyoyster.com/?p=8504 Anyone who stuck around with Dollhouse after the uneven first five or six episodes was rewarded with some classic Joss Whedon storytelling.  Luckily for those peeps, FOX was kind enough to bestow a second season on the show — something they don’t normally do for low-rated sci fi. 

 

Season two starts tonight and hopefully it’ll really find it’s sea legs.  Based on the adendum episode “Epitaph One” we know the show is eventually going in the direction of a fullblown apocalypse with zombie human wrecking havoc on the world. 

That’s where we are headed, but for now Alpha is still running wild, Echo is beginning to remember her life and hold on to her identity, Ballard is now working for the Dollhouse and given the way Joss Whedon tells stories it’s going to make for some juicy tv.

]]> http://slyoyster.com/television/2009/dollhouse-season-two-premieres-tonight/feed/ 0 http://slyoyster.com/television/2009/television-notes/ http://slyoyster.com/television/2009/television-notes/#comments Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:10:18 +0000 Big Rob http://slyoyster.com/?p=8453 Big TV Week for SciFi Fans

This is shaping up to be a big week of television for fans of science fiction. Monday we started with the two hour premiere of Heroes, which returns for its fourth season. Last year’s storyline was far superior to the lame second season, so it will be interesting how the show develops, especially given its ratings plummet since the first season.  I know a lot of people have jumped off the Heroes train, but it’s still be enjoyable for me. 

Tuesday saw the season finale of the pretty good–if not quite great–original SyFy series, Warehouse 13. They’ve done a decent job of mixing the world-in-peril stuff with the comic relief stuff, and the cast is uniformly appealing.  Not unlike Fringe and Dollhouse, the show struggled to define itself in the early going but really hit a good stride in the second half of it’s run.  Given that it’s the highest rated SyFy show ever, we will see a second season and that’s pretty exciting.  Especially how the season wrapped up on a good cliffhanger.

Tonight at 8 on ABC is the series premiere of Flash Forward, about what happens after the entire world blacks out for 2 minutes and 17 seconds.  ABC has high hopes for the show and so far the previews have looked intriguing/promising. 

Following, on Fox, is actually the second episode of the second season of Fringe, a J.J. Abrams created series which is consistently intriguing and suspenseful and has one of the best characters on television. John Noble plays the goofably loveable (possibly insane) mad scientist, Walter Bishop. Again, an excellent cast throughout, in particular Anna Torv as a strong, yet vulnerable, FBI agent.  Now that the show is weaving a strong mythology into it’s weekly story arc, this one has become must watch tv for any lover of creepy sci fi.

For me, Friday is the cherry on the sundae. That is when we get the return of Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse. Admittedly, the first season was a little uneven. The appearance of Alan Tudyk toward the end definitely “kicked it up a notch.” BSG’s Tahmoh Penikett manages to play FBI agent Ballard as earnest and stoic without making him boring; and, in the interest of full disclosure, I must admit I would probably watch Eliza Dushku reading the phone book.

Another Whedon Alumnus Finds a New Home

It looks as if Nathan Fillion has finally found a quality home after the ignominious loss (to us) of the brilliant Firefly. Since then–with the exception of Joss Whedon’s clever web vid. Dr. Horrible’s Singalong Blog, where Fillion did a great parody of the macho/heroic persona of Captain Mal–he hasn’t really had much to work with as an actor. Until this spring.

Castle was given a shortened (10 episode) first season, where it garnered decent ratings.

More importantly, it turned out to be good. Nathan plays Richard Castle, a wealthy and famous divorced novelist of murder mysteries, who manages to wangle his way into a squad of homicide detectives so he can observe the real cops in action. Stana Katic almost manages to out-Mariska Mariska Hargitay when it comes to playing the hard-assed and competent detective Beckett, who — just coincidentally, and often to her own frustration — happens to be heart-stoppingly beautiful. Of course, she finds the flirtatious Castle’s presence in the middle of her investigations to be a huge irritant; but, he’s a personal friend of the mayor’s, so what can she do?

Excellent cast of characters in support here, as well. Susan Sullivan is a kick as Castle’s mother, a one-time Broadway star. Molly Quinn is appealing as his pretty teenage daughter, who manages to be a good girl most of the time, while eschewing cuteness. Jon Huertas, Seamus Dever and Ruben Santiago Hudson are the other cops, who, to Beckett’s chagrin, all seem to enjoy having Castle around. I’m pretty confident that you’ll enjoy it, too.

Season premiere was last Monday, where it airs at 10 pm on ABC. You can also catch up with episodes on abc.com or Hulu.

]]> http://slyoyster.com/television/2009/television-notes/feed/ 0 http://slyoyster.com/movies/2009/hbo-imagine/ http://slyoyster.com/movies/2009/hbo-imagine/#comments Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:14:03 +0000 James Furbush http://slyoyster.com/?p=8463 This is neat: HBO Imagine are short films, done with multiple camera angles that you control.  “As HBO continues to push boundaries and change perspectives, we’ve created this entirely new way of experiencing a story.  Each piece of content provides unique information, and offers a unique perspective on the characters, plots, and motives at play, allowing viewers to discover for themselves what is really going on.  Have you seen the big picture yet?”

Art Heist is a good example. 

One hopes this is not just a passing fancy for the cable giant, but an earnest attempt at launching an online video site.  Maybe we’ve come to expect too much from HBO, but it seems if anyone would have figured out how to capitalize on their telelvision library to make an online profit it would have been them. [via]

]]> http://slyoyster.com/movies/2009/hbo-imagine/feed/ 0 http://slyoyster.com/television/2009/pee-wee-hermans-big-comeback/ http://slyoyster.com/television/2009/pee-wee-hermans-big-comeback/#comments Wed, 23 Sep 2009 20:10:20 +0000 James Furbush http://slyoyster.com/?p=8446

ZOMG! Following his debut Tweet (@peeweeherman), Pee-wee was a guest on The Jay Leno Show. 

Actor Paul Reubens really did come dressed in the gray suit, white wingtips and red bowtie to promote his upcoming stage show in L.A. The Pee-wee Herman Show starts Nov. 8 at the Music Box @ Fonda in Hollywood. Many of the original cast will be performing as well.

]]> http://slyoyster.com/television/2009/pee-wee-hermans-big-comeback/feed/ 0 http://slyoyster.com/television/2009/smithers-identity-revealed/ http://slyoyster.com/television/2009/smithers-identity-revealed/#comments Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:35:48 +0000 James Furbush http://slyoyster.com/?p=8429 One of the great things about living in Portland, which is where Matt Groening is from, was discovering that many of the character names on The Simpsons were based on streets in our fair city.  It always gives me a chuckle to drive by Lovejoy Ave. or some such street. 

Anyways, over at Surf, Emily Nussbaum’s new (and excellent [try saying that without the Mr. Burns inflection]) television blog, she discovers in John Ortved’s new The Simpsons: An Uncensored Unauthorized History the identity of the James L. Brooks assistant who inspired Waylon Smithers — one Mr. Richard Sakai. 

It sounds like a great read, even though James L. Brooks and Matt Groening didn’t participate.  But for good reason.  Nussbaum hints that the book portrays Brooks as “a genius bastard who screwed over his cancer-ridden lifelong best friend for money” and Groening as “an amiable lame-o who stole credit for the series despite the fact that he wrote very little of it.” 

Probably make a great Jesus’s birthday present for any Simpsons fan.

]]> http://slyoyster.com/television/2009/smithers-identity-revealed/feed/ 0 http://slyoyster.com/television/2009/first-15-minutes-of-abcs-flash-forward/ http://slyoyster.com/television/2009/first-15-minutes-of-abcs-flash-forward/#comments Wed, 23 Sep 2009 12:55:13 +0000 James Furbush http://slyoyster.com/?p=8415

Interested to see what the reception for this show will be (premieres tonight at 10 p.m. on ABC).  It certainly looks good, but doesn’t it always seem as if these type of high-minded sci-fi concepts are either hit or miss?  The success of Lost seems like a black swan.  But I do like that ABC is giving this and V a huge push this season.

]]> http://slyoyster.com/television/2009/first-15-minutes-of-abcs-flash-forward/feed/ 1