But the clip is hilarious and it only makes me wonder why Ron Howard doesn’t make more comedies. I would liike him much more as a filmmaker if he injected some humor into his stories again. Actually, he’s only made three out and out comedies: Parenthood, Splash, and EdTv. EdTV is probably why he hasn’t made a comedy in over a decade, but anyone watching his endorsement of Barack Obama would find it humorous, strange, endearing with the right mix of comedy and gravitas.
Here’s a decent interview with the director on how the video above fell into place.
Seriously? Does he even know what he’s saying? As David Sedaris would say, “I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. ‘Can I interest you in the chicken?’ she asks. ‘Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?’
“To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.
“I mean, really, what’s to be confused about?”
Unless of course, you’re John McCain and the whole thing seems confusing. It’s almost like the cogs in his brain need a wee bit of WD-40 or maybe just slather them with grease because those things are starting to get gummed up.
Without a doubt is the killing method known as scaphism:
Also known as the boats, is an ancient Persian method of execution designed to inflict torturous death. The name comes from the Greek word skaphe, meaning “scooped (or hollowed) out” and from Latin word meaning “boats”.
The naked person would be firmly fastened within a back-to-back pair of narrow rowboats (or in some variations a hollowed-out tree trunk), the head, hands, and feet protruding from this improvised container. The condemned was forced to ingest milk and honey to the point of developing severe diarrhea, and more honey would be rubbed on his body so as to attract insects to the exposed appendages. They would then be left to float on a stagnant pond (or alternately, simply exposed to the sun somewhere). The defenseless individual’s feces accumulated within the container, attracting more insects, which would eat and breed within his or her exposed (and increasingly gangrenous) flesh. Death, when it eventually occurred, was probably due to a combination of dehydration, starvation and septic shock. Insanity would typically set in after a few days.
In other recorded versions, the insects did not eat the person; biting and stinging insects such as wasps, which were attracted by honey on the body, acted as the torture.
With things going to shit, Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones have put out a PSA advocating for puppies. This video is a whole lot of cuteness, perhaps the cutest video ever made in the history of video. Though it makes us wonder if Funny or Die has reverted into one big funny-har-har PSA website.
So when John McCain bailed on Letterman to go “attend to” the financial crisis back in DC, you had to imagine that if he ever made it back to David Letterman’s show that it could be an awkward affair.
And it was! Last night Letterman good naturedly ribs McCain. It’s awkward and funny! McCain shows off his humor with weird jokes about his POW days, Denny’s Grandslam breakfast and then has the tables turned on him regarding the William Ayers issue. Oh snap!
Nevertheless, John McCain still ends up looking like Skeletor and I secretly suspect that that is the reason why no one wants to vote for him.
But holy shit can you believe the finish to that Red Sox game? God almighty. Not sure if they are going to be able to win two games at the Trop, but tonight could be a momentum changer.
The Red Sox have completed the largest comeback ever by a team facing playoff elimination, defeating the Rays, 8-7, on Drew’s walk-off ground-rule double/single over the head of Rays right fielder Gabe Gross to score Youkilis. The Red Sox were down 7-0 following the sixth inning, but scored four in the seventh, three in the eighth, and the game-winner in the ninth. Drew had previously hit a two-run homer to make it 7-6 in the eighth. It’s pandemonium at Fenway Park. The Sox trail in the series, three games to two, and will board a plane bound for St. Petersburgh, Fla. tonight.
I don’t need to imagine the pandemonium taking place having been there for the craziness of 2004.
For those that like everything about porn, except the sex. Director James Gunn (Slither), along with his brothers Brian and Sean (ah Kirk from The Gilmore Girls), have created a hilarious series of shorts starring Hollywood actors and pornstars for Spike TV.
The basic joke in PG Pornis that porn in and of itself is sorta funny but only right up until the two people start having sex. Then it just gets gross. Eliminate the sex and you’ve got comedy gold. Only one episode has been posted so far, but several have been shot and all of them star fairly well known Hollywood actors and pornstars.
When the “Don’t Vote” PSA came out about a week ago we would’ve written about how awful and condescending it was (probably in an epithet ladled rant) but the site was down and so we just didn’t bother. There’s nothing like Hollywood trying to pull a reverse double end around to get people to vote democrat by telling them not to vote. Still, it was worth it for Sarah Silverman and Johan Hill’s hilarity.
Over at Funny or Die, Adam Slutsky took that PSA and edited in a very funny message, which should have been the original PSA to begin with.
I’m so transfixed by the site Before I Die I Want To. Simple in its execution, moving in its honest sincerity. The concept is Polaroid photos taken at the moment people confess the one thing they want to do before they die, then they write it in Sharpie on the photo. Then, the confessions are published online.
The result is something that is riveting and ultimately sad because there is the lingering notion that most of the people will never truly accomplish what they want to do before they die. Obligations and whatnot. There are always excuses.
Creators, Nicole Kenney (Brooklyn, NY) and ks rives (Chicago, IL) keep their Polaroid cameras close at hand, taking portraits wherever they go to add to the collection. They snap the photo while the subject is saying what they want to do before they die, getting them in the act of stating their desire. Nicole and ks then request that the subject writes his or her statement on the Polaroid starting with the words “Before I die I want to….” As the subjects are signing the release form, the artists ask them to include their email.
The website is updated continuously with new portraits.
In a number of years (five, ten, twenty, etc.), Nicole and ks will contact the participants via email to see if they have accomplished their goal, if they are on their way, or why they haven’t made steps in that direction. At this future time, Nicole and ks will ask them to write a short story next to their photo on the website about fulfilling their expressed want. Seeing online that other people are fulfilling their desires will motivate participants to complete their task and write a story of their own.
Best. Idea. Ever.
There is more reading on the website, as the duo have compiled the immense amounts of deserved press. You can add them to the list of people I would love to profile. I suppose this is also where I say, before I die I want to . . . too many to choose one, but immediately it would be to make it to all 50 US states. I’ve only got about 7 or 8 to go to. Completely achievable. I’ve also painted a self-portrait and gone sky diving, which is kinda cool. But I’ve also got about 50 other things I’d like to do.
So have at, what would you want to do before dying?
In a recent mailbag, ESPN’s Bill Simmons provided a long list of the best sports writing he could think of. At the time of reading it, I thought, geez, wouldn’t it be great if I could compile those together for readers. This being the internet, if you have the thought and wait a day someone has already beaten you to the punch. Max from The Millions took Simmons’ list and found many of the articles were available online for your complementary reading pleasure. Authors include Gay Talese, Roger Angell, John Updike, Norman Mailer, Hunter S. Thompson, George Plimton, and David Foster Wallace. [via Kottke]
As far as PR stunts go, having the Republican VP candidate and Alaska Gov., Sarah Palin, drop a ceremonial hockey puck at an NHL game was a good move. After all she is a self-professed “hockey mom.” It could have been a well orchestrated maneuver. But where the stunt may have gone wrong is when her handlers inexplicably decided to have her drop a puck at Saturday’s Philadelphia Flyers opening night.
“I am surprised that the candidate would go on the ice in Philly — Philly fans threw snowballs at Santa Claus and booed Beyonce(*) because she was wearing a Michael Jordan dress,” said Ted Leonsis, owner of the Washington Capitals, a conference rival of the Flyers. “This is dangerous territory.”
Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell, a former Philly mayor and big fan of the town’s sports teams, also said before the game he didn’t think the puck-drop was a good idea.
“Sports and politics, I believe, never mix,” the governor said. This is the same city that threw batteries at baseball player J.D. Drew and pelted Santa Claus with snow balls, as mentioned above; a citywide fanbase whose reputation is one of the most passionate and often vitriolic in the country. Did they think that Flyer-fans would do anything other than shower Palin with a chorus of boos?
Though I often wonder about the sanity of the city due to the pent up aggression of not having won a major sports championship since 1983, I can honestly say that I’m proud of Philadelphia. Big ups for all involved in showing how they really feel about Sarah Palin.
“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them; disagree with them; glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”
-Jack Kerouac
That’s actually not a quote from Kerouac, but it was attributed to him back in 1997 during the dawn of Apple’s rebranding strategy with their “Think Different” campaign. I’ve often wondered who really said this.
Nothing says square peg misfit world changer quite like your official On the Road t-shirt from Urban Outfitters. In way, as vile and odious as this capitalism is, I think Kerouac actually would have found it vaguely amusing in a sort of absurdist “what has the world become kind of way.” If he were alive, it surely would have killed a tiny piece of his soul.
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