IMAGE COURTESY OF DLISTED
–>At a Hollywood Reporter breakfast a few days prior, still-”offficially”-in-the-closet-but-socially-outed actress Jodie Foster thanked her life partner, Cydney Bernard (pictured above), calling her “beautiful Cydney who sticks with me through all the rotten and the bliss.” As Michael K of Dlisted noted, straight people don’t go around announcing that they’re straight, so why are gay people (especially those in the public eye) need to make a formal announcement to everyone? This is why I’m over Perez Hilton: just because he likes everyone to know he’s gay does not give him the authority to out people who may not like their private life exposed, particularly images with photoshopped jizz dribbling down their mouths.

IMAGE COURTESY OF DLISTED
–>My mom always said that Nicolas Cage looked the most like a serial killer of anyone in Hollywood (I disagree–the villain from “Passenger 57″ starring Wesley Snipes?). BUT. I don’t think she’s seen his son yet: Weston Coppola Cage, 16 years old behind all that eyeliner. This is him at the Fulcage fashion show on Wed 12/5.

IMAGE COURTESY OF DLISTED
–>Chug! Chug! Chug! Posh Spice gets real: “It became very obvious from the start [of my career] that I was never going to be the best singer or the best dancer or the best actress. I was never a ‘natural.’ You know, I’ve never been that good at anything, to be completely honest. I’m no Mariah Carey, but I can sing.”

IMAGE COURTESY OF DLISTED

–>Frankie Muniz lives! Showing off his “bicep” for a friend’s videocamera! So this is what it’s like to be the bottom rung of Forbes’ Top 20 Under 25 list…

IMAGE COURTESY OF BRICKS & STONES
Janet Charlton’s Hollywood received a tip that pregnant Nicole Richie may be expecting twins:

“We heard a sensational rumor that we can’t PROVE, but it just might be true, so we’re going to tell you what we know and let YOU be the judge. According to a source, Nicole Ritchie is expecting TWINS! This source predicts that Nicole’s reps are planning to release the information when it will be most beneficial to her. If you think about it, no one at Nicole’s baby shower seemed to have any idea whether she was expecting a girl or boy so she hasn’t discussed it. Of course twins for a person as tiny as Nicole might be complicated. In other words, scary. If this tip turns out to be true, and it just MIGHT, remember you read it here FIRST!”

Caps locking words makes me a little nervous, and I try to abstain from the over-emphasis all caps provides. When Janet “can’t PROVE” the rumor and the tip “just MIGHT” be true, it makes me think she doesn’t believe the story either. As Hollywood pregnancies have become increasingly more newsworthy in the last few years, I feel like the only way to jazz up unconfirmed/non-life threatening/quiet pregnancies is to suggest that that the mother may be carrying twins (read: JLo). In reality, it seems the stars who DO have twins (Marcia Cross, Julia Roberts, et al) used fertility treatments and/or got pregnant later in life.

Some commenters on Janet’s site noted that Nicole looks so large (one of the signs of twins) because most everyone has adapted to her “pro-ana look.” I just think she’s pregnant, plain and simple: each woman takes to pregnancy differently, i.e. carries the baby higher or lower, gets big or not-so-big, familiar cravings and weird cravings, etc. I thought I’d post this in case it MIGHT be true.

In other Nicole Richie-Joel Madden news, or rather the Richie-Madden Children’s Foundation news, they handed out $200,000 worth of baby goods to 100 needy families through the Los Angeles Free Clinic. Click here to read the full story.

IMAGES COURTESY OF FADED YOUTH

A few school districts in Illinois have banned hugging in elementary and middle schools, where students feel violated for expressing affection for friends…but adults don’t follow the same rules. Even when a hug is shared with the woman you’ve been accused of having an affair with and breaking up your seven-year marriage.

From Faded Youth, photos of Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish, his costar in the upcoming film, “Stop Loss”, on a friend’s patio in Beverly Hills, sharing what appears to be a cigarette (though partaking in the 1998 film “Homegrown” may suggest he’s not anti-marijuana) and a hug.

Following his divorce from Reese Witherspoon, with whom he has two children, Ava and Deacon, Phillippe had this to say: “I’m not a perfect person, but I’m not guilty of a lot of the things I have been accused of. My priority is and always has been the health and safety of my family,” Phillippe said to People magazine.

On November 20 of last year, just following the announcement of the Ryan-Reese divorce and when speculation was high that Cornish was “the other woman,” the Australian actress denied any reports of a romance:

“We were very good friends and we did spend a lot of time together, yeah,” she was quoted by the Dailynews, as saying.

“But we’re friends and that’s it,” was quoted by Star magazine, as saying,” she added.

Earlier tabloids had claimed that Witherspoon decided to end her marriage to the Crash star after learning he had romanced Cornish on the set of their new movie, “Stop Loss” in Texas.

Reports also suggested that the Legally Blonde star found out about her husband’s alleged romance with Cornish after reading a saucy note on his BlackBerry phone.

But Cornish insists the reports are all false.”

Ah, the “good friends” excuse. Photos are damning evidence, so they’ll have a fun time backpedaling through the new gossip that they have resumed their romance. Best of luck to you, Ryan and Abbie! Suggestion: avoid any use of the phrase “good friends” as it almost always implies something more.

Forbes has compiled a list of the top 20 under 25. Top 20 to donate the majority of their salary to literacy programs or food aid overseas? Come on, if that were true, Angelina Jolie would be president, with Brad Pitt as First Lady. They’re the 20 top-earners under 25, of course (and “Forbes” probs gave that away).

Without further adieu:

1. LeBron James, $27 million
2. Reggie Bush, $24 million
3. Maria Sharapova, $23 million
4. Michelle Wie, $19 million
5. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, $17 million each
6. Daniel Radcliffe, $15 million
7. Hilary Duff, $12 million
8. Avril Lavigne, $12 million
9. Carmelo Anthony, $10 million
10. Keira Knightley, $9 million
11. Carrie Underwood, $7 million
12. Scarlett Johansson, $5 million
13. Mischa Barton, $4.5 million
14. Dakota Fanning, $4 million
15. Emma Watson, $4 million
16. Rupert Grint, $4 million
17. Miley Cyrus, $3.5 million
18. Lindsay Lohan, $3.5 million
19. Mandy Moore, $3.5 million
20. Frankie Muniz, $3 million

A couple of notes: first, how did “Malcolm in the Middle” star Frankie Muniz still pull in $3 million this year? Did he finally sell off his car collection? And wasn’t Lindsay Lohan in rehab for most of 2007?

Second, I’m wondering how Rupert Grint and Emma Watson feel about their costar, Daniel Radcliffe, earning nearly triple their salaries this year when they are quite the onscreen trio. Though to be fair, that’s like a movie about the Supremes: the actress playing Diana Ross would most definitely earn more than the actresses playing Mary Wilson and Florence Ballard. Also, kudos to Hilary Duff and Avril Lavigne for continuing to sell albums. Oops, almost forgot Mischa Barton–looks like ending “The OC” and spending her days trying out high-waisted trends and drinking coffee around Robertson Blvd has worked out well for her. Puts her half a million above consistently-working actress Dakota Fanning, and that’s all for doing nothing.

I’ll admit, with the exception of Lohan, I was glad to see an absence of tabloid staples on this list. Paris, Britney, et al…they’re too old for this working hard crap. But just the right age for a crotch flash.

IMAGE COURTESY OF WENN

It seems the enablers have once again surrounded Lindsay Lohan…she’s been spotted having “a few” drinks over the holidays, which is not surprising, a T-Giving is traditionally a fam holiday and the Lohan clan is notorious for releasing statements that include “It’s not her fault!” or “She’s exhausted from overworking!” somewhere in their textual bullshit. Was Lohan’s sober companion fired?

From Bricks & Stones:

“She has been drinking a little bit,” a pal tells us. “Over her week in New York, she did have a few drinks.”  A separate source tells us that she had at least one big fight with her Utah beau, Riley Giles, who joined the Lohan family for the holiday.

After a late-night visit to the Beatrice Inn on Monday, says the source, Lohan was calling Manhattan pals for a place to stay. One friend received numerous voice messages around 4 a.m. But the first source says Lindsay’s alcohol intake was in moderation.

“For Lindsay, her real problem was drugs, not alcohol. In the past, it wasn’t the drinking that was the problem - it was the heavy drug use,” says the friend. “The drug use was way more intense than her party drinking. As long as she isn’t doing drugs, she’s okay.”

She’s been to rehab 27 times! Lohan should know that recovering addicts naturally replace one vice with another, which seemed at first to be retail therapy. But now she’s back on the sauce–how long til she’s back in da club? Soon it’ll be every night that she’s sippin Bacardi like it’s her berfday.

But there is some musical work on the horizon for Lohan: she’s set to record her third album, tentatively titled, “Nobody’s Angel.”Deeeeeeep. It doesn’t sound like her soul is aching to get back in the studio and reflect on all that’s happened to her since her last album (tanked), reports Page Six:

“A source at Universal Music Group tells us she’ll soon start recording her third album, rumored to be titled “Nobody’s Angel.” The tipster said, “She’s only recording because of a contractual obligation to Universal,” which released her second album. Another insider insisted, “Lindsay always planned to release a third album.”

Hmmm, conflicting sources. I would vote that she’s doing this because of contractual obligations and staying on the right side of the law, as opposed to artistic vision guiding her toward her third album. Which may include a collaboration with 50 Cent. Perfect.

IMAGE COURTESY OF IN TOUCH

Not just one, but two trash rags are reporting that Britney Spears is knocked up for the third time, and claims In Touch, she “won’t be happy unless it’s a girl.” Pregnancy is a horrifying prospect when Britney’s involved, as she can’t even handle the two boys she has and is currently half-assed fighting in court for them. Even her “Dirrty” Mickey Mouse club co-star Christina Aguilera, oh she of assless chaps and drag-queen baby showers, seems to be handling impending motherhood quite nicely (see Mollygood for her nude pregnant Marie Claire cover), but for Britney, “raising children” has been, to put it lightly, a challenge.

But don’t worry about what name will be bestowed on this *fingers crossed* girl, or even her future dental habits…while I understand In Touch and Star uncover the truth occasionally (hell, even the National Enquirer broke the Owen Wilson story), this pregnancy appears to be a ruse.

First, the falsities. From the cover of In Touch: “Yes, she’s pregnant!” the mag terrifyingly declares. “Ultrasounds, her excited e-mails to friends — now the father of Britney’s third child confirms it’s true.”

Are you guessing hate sex with KFed? Sorry, the father who confirmed this “pregnancy” is her on-off fling, music producer JR Rotem. Let me refresh your memory of his soundbites to Blender mag, now on newsstands:

“I have a fear of germs”; “I don’t invest in real estate, I invest in jewelry”; “I’m a Leo, a lion”; “I’ve seen Zoolander 100 times”; and, finally, “I fucked Britney wheelbarrow style. Just kidding. It was tractor style.”

IMAGE COURTESY OF DLISTED

Feel free to speculate what tractor-style means in the comment section. Next up is Star, who got their hot little hands on a Myspace message supposedly written by Brit, which says:

“Yes, I am pregnant and I am shocked — almost four weeks to be exact,” the tab (via the New York Daily News) claims she wrote in a message. “I don’t really know if I’m happy or sad I’m just … idk [I don't know] I am happy I guess. I saw the ultrasound and it was really kewl!”

But along comes MSN’s Hot Gossip section to cry foul on these reports, and ruin Britney’s overwhelming feelings of happiness…I guess.

“Thankfully, there appears to be no reason to panic just yet. Spears’ suctioned-on BFF Sam Lutfi tapped out a text to Ryan Seacrest Wednesday morning refuting the bun-in-the-oven rumblings.

“It’s BS,” he wrote. “Don’t know who made it up. J.R. doesn’t even know what’s up. It’s fake. Completely fake.”

For good measure, Lutfi also sent a message to People, calling the baby talk a “big lie.”

Britney “laughed at it,” he says, adding that she probably won’t address the story directly because “if she were to give a statement about every lie, she’d be giving statements forever.”

IMAGE COURTESY OF BRICKS & STONES

Other good news in Britney’s life comes from Bricks & Stones, who reports that her couches are stained with shit from her dogs and her sons’ diaper changings and the court-appointed monitor is set to declare the house a “potential health hazard”.

Also, she has a sex room with costumes that will surprise you (Psych! It’s the old Catholic school girl cliche–but would her outfit from “Hit Me Baby” even fit anymore?) and various kinky toys.

AND she tried to steal some wigs at the Hustler store in West Hollywood after taking off her own undies in the middle of the store to try on some boy-cut briefs.

She is a modern-day Howard Hughes (toward the end of his life–you know, tissues to touch everything?), or to a lesser extent, Liza Minnelli. Wacky but rich, so you put up with their eccentricities because it makes a story fit to print.

IMAGE COURTESY OF MOLLYGOOD

Mollygood is reporting that formerly sober actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers is back on the sauce…in a very public way, by being arrested at:

“Dublin Airport on Sunday for public drunkenness and breach of peace after exhibiting “‘erratic, abusive’ behavior at an airport gate and an airline desk…” That’s bad, but it gets worse: “Rhys Meyers told the AP back in 2006 that he ‘would never drink again’ to help preserve his career.”

PEOPLE adds:

“Rhys Meyers, 30, was refused permission to board a London-bound flight when police confronted the actor twice after erratic, abusive behavior at an airport gate and at a desk of the British airline BMI, the Associated Press reports.

Dublin Airport Police said they called Ireland’s national police force, the Garda Siochana, after Rhys Meyers refused repeated requests to calm down, reports the AP.

The Cork-born actor and star of Showtime’s “The Tudors” was held for a short time, charged under Ireland’s Public Order Act and released on his own bail. He is due in court for his arraignment Dec. 5.

Rhys Meyers, who earlier this year did a stint in rehab, was in Dublin to promote his new movie “August Rush.”

Wow. I’m sure Dublin Airport has had more drunk and disorderly conduct than say, Omaha Eppley Airfield. He must have fallen hard off that wagon. Hopefully, this time around in rehab, they can teach him to stop staring into people’s souls via photographs–he always looks so cracked out. And is he with Freddie Highmore from “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” in the above photo? Must be: he also stars in “August Rush.”

IMAGE COURTESY OF BRICKS & STONES

Helena Bonham Carter is reportedly pregnant with partner Tim Burton’s baby, and has been getting her fair share of criticism for indulging in a cup of coffee or tea. From Bricks & Stones:

“People - particularly men - saying with surprise, ‘You’re still drinking caffeine?’ as if I’m performing a criminal act on my unborn as I tuck into my treasured one-a-day cup of tea/coffee. Yeah. You try nine months of gestation and self-abnegation before you start censoring my diet. Your mother was probably on vodka, and do you have three heads?”

A lot of people I know had mothers who smoked during pregnancy, and they certainly didn’t come out with three heads. I think there is definitely such a thing as too much caution. I’m not recommending swigging Captain and then breast-feeding your baby a la Britney, but caffeine in moderation is not a “criminal act” as she says. On a sidenote, I am super looking forward to a 3-D Tim Burton adaptation of “Alice in Wonderland”, as reported by Jim.

p.s. I’ll try to stop posting about pregnant ladies.

IMAGE COURTESY OF MOLLYGOOD

Now, we know they have a “friendly” relationship, this trio, even taking vacays together. But this moment between exes Demi Moore and Bruce Willis looks a tad uncomfortable for her new(er) hubby Ashton Kutcher.

IMAGE COURTESY OF BRICKS & STONES

Ah, the follow-up…looks like a photog at the grand opening of the Planet Hollywood Hotel and Casino grabbed these two for a photo op after the awkward moment. Neither Bruce nor Ashton look very pleased. In fact, they look constipated.

Here’s one for a nightmare tonight:

IMAGE COURTESY OF MOLLYGOOD

John Travolta assaulted poor Kirk Douglas at the Santa Barbara Film Festival, where (unbelievably) Travolta was honored with a lifetime achievement award for film excellence. 91-year-old Douglas seemed caught off-guard by the kiss, which was unwarranted and frankly, does nothing to dispel the gay rumors that often surround Travolta. Even if he’s just a fan of the man-kiss.

IMAGE COURTESY OF PEOPLE

At the first of three baby showers celebrating Christina Aguilera’s impending motherhood on Sat 11/10, there was no announcement as to the baby’s sex…unless you take the color of many of the gifts given to Christina and her husband, record exec Jordan Bratman. Reports PEOPLE:

“Though the singer has not confirmed the gender of her baby, there was a distinctive theme to the gifts – the color blue.

Among the presents bought from baby boutique Bel Bambini, where the singer set up her registry last month, were a blue Loved Mom Guitar shirt, a Cariboo bassinet with blue dot bedding, Trumpette Johnny’s socks – and Sozo Whiz Kid wee block, meant for use when changing a baby boy’s diapers.”

The most interesting part of this story is the wee block. This is what it looks like:

IMAGE COURTESY OF RASPBERRY AND SAGE

…which isn’t all that telling. But the description is! From Raspberry & Sage, a children’s boutique: “Say no no to wee wee. Designed to keep your babies fountain of youth under control during diaper changes! Wee Block is a machine washable wee wee absorbing sponge to use while changing a baby boy’s diaper.” Maybe I’m just acting like a 5-year-old today, but I can’t help thinking who the copywriter was that came up with that ad copy. And can’t they just say “pee”? I’d even accept “urine.”

IMAGE COURTESY OF BRICKS & STONES

Another party that was big on the colored hints was Nicole Richie’s baby shower just this past weekend, where many of the gifts were blue. (Didn’t anyone read the instructions on the invite? DONATIONS to the Richie Madden Children’s Foundation!) At the “Wizard of Oz”-themed soiree in Beverly Hills, 90 guests attended the shower…and some seemed clued in to the baby’s gender, reports Bricks & Stones:

“And while Richie has not revealed whether she’s having a boy or a girl, some of the gifts offered a clue. From NoMi boutique in L.A., guests picked up a pair of $50 baby sneakers for a boy, and a $50 Tummy T Jack maternity shirt with a picture of a boy on the front.”

Richie is due in January (and barely looks pregnant) and Aguilera has not yet announced when she is due, only confirming to Glamour that she will “enter into mommyhood” early next year.

IMAGE COURTESY OF BRICKS & STONES

–>Kimberley Stewart and Tommy Lee sat front and center - “together” - at the Nevada Cancer Institute’s sixth annual “Rock for the Cure” fund-raising gala at the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas last night. They flew in together on her father Rod’s private jet, and the two were linked in the past…in fact, there was even a blind item about them, with a “blond heiress” who “couldn’t keep up” with her “hard-partying rocker boyfriend” and ended the night “foaming at the mouth.” BUT some good did come of the evening: the Institute raised $15 million for research.

IMAGE COURTESY OF BRICKS & STONES

–>Hilary Duff and ex-boyf Aaron Carter were seen in LA yesterday…Carter, famously (and strangely) was involved with both Hilary and Lindsay Lohan at the same time, causing a rift between the tween stars that ended only a few years ago. Watching him on “House of Carters” did nothing but solidify his douche bag rep, and I know Hilary has been known to give a lap dance or two, but she just seems so out of his league. Maybe they’re FWBs though…oooh wait, she’s “waiting.”

IMAGE COURTESY OF CELEBITCHY

–> While the Nicole Richie’s baby shower is being thrown by her mother, Brenda, sister Sophia and friends Paris Hilton and Masha Gordon are listed as the official hosts. But are any of these women doing any actual work? Nope, that’s left up to “wedding planner to the stars”, Mindy Weiss, who takes care of all the annoying deets. In a surprise show of consideration, Nicole won’t be collecting baby sheets with a high thread count or thousand dollar strollers; she and baby daddy Joel Madden have set up the Richie Madden Children’s Foundation and have asked that baby shower attendees make donations of needed baby items instead of giving gifts to Nicole. They’re also asking fans to make donations to their foundation, with the items to go to families in need who visit the LA Free Clinic. Read more about it here.

IMAGE COURTESY OF DLISTED

–>Us Weekly compared 13-year-old Lindsay Lohan (in 1996, left) and her 13-year-old sister, Ali, in 2007. I can only wonder who introduced Ali to eyeliner: mother Dina or sister Lindsay? I’m terrified to wonder what else they’re introduced her to…hopefully it’s just tampons.

IMAGE COURTESY OF DLISTED

–>It was over before it even began. Lance Armstrong is now denying that he and Ashley Olson were ever an item. But, expectedly, they’re “friends.” From Dlisted: “He told Page Six they are just friends, “We have hung out amongst other friends, and she strikes me as a nice, smart lady.” Uh, a “lady”? I don’t doubt Ashley is the more proper of the twins, however, isn’t she about 11 inches short of ladylike stature? What do I know, they’re quadruple millionaires.

IMAGE COURTESY OF DLISTED

Ah, the collection of mugshots on the Lohan mantel has grown to include this latest photo: taken during Lindsay’s booking at Lynwood Correctional Facility yesterday. Lindsay arrived at 1030a (accompanied by her lawyer, Blair Berk), didn’t even make it to a cell (she was kept in a holding area), and was released 84 minutes later at 1154a. It was a photo finish, but Nicole Richie still holds the record for shortest jail time served, clocking in at 82 minutes, when she served time for her DUI.

According to the NY Post, “The jail source says that Lohan was “extremely co-operative and professional.” This 84-minute lockdown has fulfilled the jail time part of her DUI conviction, but she will still be required to complete community service.”

PEOPLE was a bit more graphic, feeling the need to include the strip search detail: “Ms. Lohan was cooperative,” sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore tells PEOPLE. “She was fingerprinted, photographed, and put in a holding cell, but was let go due to our early release policy.” Whitmore also confirmed that Lohan was strip searched as part of routine jail procedure.

Celebitchy points out that the sentence and resulting jail time don’t fit the crimes she committed: “Lindsay’s original sentence - for her two DUIs, felony charges of possession of cocaine, transportation of a narcotic, and driving with a suspended license - [stated that she] was supposed to serve four days in jail, but agreed to serve ten days of community service instead of two of the jail days. She was given credit for one day since she spent time in jail when she was initially arrested.”

Talk about a “Get Out of Jail Free” card…I guess being a celeb allows you to carry that card wherever you go, and there are far too many examples of famous people getting off the hook, or at least lightly, due to their public persona. Also, her new mugshot is mighty orange. And her lips look Botoxed, or at least like she had them done to look like Melanie Griffith’s. In terms of quality, I liked the cracked out-looking Lindsay with bloodshot eyes, stringy hair, and pale skin–she looked like Nick Nolte’s daughter. This new mugshot bears an eerie resemblance to Paris Hilton’s, the one she prettied herself up for. You know Paris, always ready for a photo op.

IMAGE COURTESY OF TMZ

Both sides of the KFed/Brit custody battle will be back in court tomorrow for an emergency hearing based on the above photo still, captured by TMZ on video. You think the car’s moving, or she just happens to be in a prong of paparazzi? Come on, it’s Britney: your best guess would be narrowed down to the worst possible decision a human can make. She’s holding her phone in front of her face and appears to be texting, but that’s not the worst of it. The video is damning evidence of Britney running a red light Thursday evening through a busy intersection, with both kids in back and the court-appointed monitor in the front seat, looking like she’s holding on for dear life (though hunched over).

IMAGE COURTESY OF TMZ

Further complicating matters, one of Brit’s drug tests came back false positive. Reports TMZ:

“TMZ has learned Britney Spears will now say her false positive drug test may have been caused by her inhaler, which she uses for asthma.

Sources connected with Spears told TMZ yesterday that the drug that may have caused the positive was Provigil, used to treat narcolepsy. But TMZ did some digging and found Provigil would not show up on a court-ordered drug test.

Now the same source says the drug that showed up may have been Albuterol, an asthma drug. But, again, we checked and Albuterol is not an amphetamine, and the class of drug that showed up on the test was an amphetamine.

K-Fed’s lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, will press the issue tomorrow in court.”

Again, THOSE ARE NOT AMPHETAMINES. Adderall and Dexedrine are. The physical effects of long-term abuse, according to Wikipedia, include: “tremor, restlessness, changed sleep patterns, anxiety and increase in pre-existing anxiety, poor skin condition, hyperreflexia, tachypnea, gastrointestinal narrowing, and weakened immune system. Fatigue and depression can follow the excitement stage. Erectile dysfunction, heart problems, stroke, and liver, kidney and lung damage can result from prolonged abuse. When insufflated, amphetamine can lead to a deterioration of the lining of the nostrils.”

Psychological effects of long-term abuse include “insomnia, mental states resembling schizophrenia, aggressiveness (not associated with schizophrenia), addiction or dependence with accompanying withdrawal symptoms, irritability, confusion, and panic. Chronic and/or extensively-continuous use can lead to amphetamine psychosis, which causes delusions and paranoia, but this is uncommon when taken as prescribed. The abuse of an amphetamine is highly addictive, and, with chronic abuse, tolerance develops very quickly. Withdrawal, although not physiologically threatening, is an unpleasant experience (including paranoia, depression, difficult breathing, dysphoria, gastric fluctuations and/or pain, and lethargia). This commonly leads chronic users to re-dose amphetamine frequently, explaining tolerance and increasing the possibility of addiction.”

Maybe they should bring these compiled check lists into court, Britney suffers from more than one of these symptoms. There’s been so many diagnoses of her mental state, all by “doctors who haven’t treated Britney”. Truthfully, she falls into many categories of mental illness but a good doctor can make the appropriate diagnosis. Especially if she ever hopes to correct those gastric fluctuations.

IMAGE COURTESY OF PEOPLE

Please make this the new “Don’t tase me, bro!” catchprase of late oh-sev: “Le Call has no comment.”

This was the response given by her “people” when asked by PEOPLE if she and Owen Wilson are dating, after being spotted all over NYC, doing everything from yoga classes to private dinners. But an inside source confirms that they are in fact dating, and now there’s one more model we can care about!

“She is dating him,” an insider tells PEOPLE.

PEOPLE reports: “Though there had been speculation – after the two were spotted together on Manhattan’s Lower East Side and in Texas – that Wilson and Jessica Simpson were an item, the New York Post’s Page Six reports that on Saturday Le Call and the “Wedding Crashers” star attended a private dinner for English artist Damien Hirst and, early in the week, also practiced yoga together in a downtown studio.

When asked about a possible relationship between Wilson and Le Call (who, despite the name, is American born), a rep for One Model Management told PEOPLE, “Le Call has no comment.”

But, a source close to the couple said on Monday, “Le Call is totally overwhelmed by all of this attention. She isn’t used to it. So they will be leaving town tomorrow to escape – and traveling a great distance.”

Now, I know this is America, and we’re free to name our kids Apple and Lamborghini, but a double word name? In re-telling this story, I thought to myself, Hmmm, it could be Le (first name) + Call (last name) but looking back, I feel like models looove being called by one name (Tyra, Giselle, Heidi, et al) and her name is just “Le Call.” Seems to me that Owen’s recent bevy of women (Le Call, Jessica Simpson, whom he was rumored to have dated for a week or two) are very high-profile, and he may need something more low-key. In October it was said that Owen had gotten back together with ex girlfriend, Carolina Cerisola, a burlesque dancer who is also said to be an excellent vegan chef. The two were even rumored to be moving in together after they were spotted out several times. For some reason, I was pulling for them. And in contrast, even Jessica Simpson seems more low maintenance than this Le Call.

IMAGE COURTESY OF CELEBITCHY (Le Call on the left)

Two points of interest from Celebitchy below. Le Call is currently embroiled in a feud with a NY restaurant owner who says she never returned his expensive umbrella, and now the newspapers have gotten a hold of it:

“A restaurant owner who probably bribed Page Six for the mention, as Jossip notes, lent Le Call or whatever her name is an umbrella worth four figures. It was leather and a limited edition model by John Paul Gaultier. She didn’t return it for a while, and when someone finally did on her behalf it was broken. So the guy wants to sue her, big deal.

Le Call commented on the feud, telling Page Six, “It is pretty funny, though. An umbrella that I didn’t ask for or want and refused to take two or three times from a man who if he is so ridiculously upset about an overpriced, ostentatious umbrella, he probably shouldn’t own one that expensive . . . Nello is desperate for attention, I guess.”

Meanwhile Le Call told NY Magazine this August that another restaurant owner and reality tv star, Rocco DiSpirito, gave her and a friend bikes when he learned they were going to rent some. She also bragged about getting free trips and vacations from guys “who want to have girls around.”

Classy. In my opinion, I think Owen should be set up with a normal. Not to say normals have less baggage, but they certainly don’t comment to Page Six about petty feuds over umbrellas or accept bikes from celeb chefs. And technically, you could say models have more baggage, that being Louis Vittons worth more than my car. Emotional baggage for normals vs celebs? Eh, call it a draw.

IMAGE COURTESY OF DLISTED

…besides getting lipstick on her teeth.

(IMAGE COURTESY OF I DON’T LIKE YOU IN THAT WAY)
Paris Hilton filed suit against card giant Hallmark two months ago for misappropriating her image and invading her privacy with the release and sale of cards bearing her likeness. To wit:

She is seeking $500,000 in damages and a permanent injunction against the greeting card company. In response, Hallmark issued a statement:

“Hilton has become a household name, based in large part on her efforts to draw attention to herself. Having done so, she has subjected herself to public scrutiny and the parodist’s pen. The First Amendment does not allow her to respond by welcoming the fawning and flattering, but silencing the critical and comical.”

Cheri Oteri has issued a statement calling for an end to Paris’s copycat ways (the latter of whom is currently in Seoul, South Korea).

Sidenote: when did Hallmark grow balls? What a great statement on their part. Maybe all the marketing for Precious Moments has finally had the reverse effect on their PR department.

IMAGE COURTESY OF CELEBITCHY

When I read Celebitchy’s headline, I mistakenly thought it said, “due to sideBOB” and I guess that’s why I’m posting it now. For all those who sport offensive hairstyles. This story isn’t really that exciting, or even newsworthy, but I keep imagining a scene on the steps of a Barbados church with Rihanna’s family yelling, “It’s too angular!” and “The front’s uneven!” Just to clarify, I WAS referring to the bob, not the boob.

From the National Enquirer’s Nov. 19 print edition:

“The 19-year-old singer went to her cousin Nigel Alstrom’s wedding in Barbados on Oct. 27. But before the happy couple even cut the cake, she was asked to take her on-display breasts and her diva attitude and get out, say sources.

“Rihanna is known for dressing very sexy - but no one expected her to show up at a wedding dressed like she was on stage,” declared a family insider. “She was the center of attention instead of the bride - and the bride and groom got upset!”

The entertainer also put on a show - blowing kisses to fans as she entered the church.

“She would have been more low-key, dressed appropriately and not have had such a ’star attitude,’” said the family insider.

“She had words with her aunt and mother, and she was asked to leave.”

“She asked what was she supposed to do - come dressed in a paper bag? Rihanna agreed to leave.”

Yes, Rihanna, proper wedding attire includes paper bags. She sounds a bit sassy for my taste. And blowing kisses? Ugh. Perhaps more embarrassing for Rihanna is her recently declared love for rumored paramour Josh Hartnett:

IMAGE COURTESY OF I DON’T LIKE YOU IN THAT WAY

“I would be lying if I told you we were not more than just friends…” “I have so fallen for him. He’s lovely,” she enthuses. “He is so hot and he is really sweet to me.” (from I Don’t Like You in That Way)

…and he was later that evening spied making out with NOT Rihanna. Maybe it’s the 10-year age difference (she’s 19, he’s 29) but then again, Lance and Ashley are makin’ it with a 15-year age difference. Rihanna’s diva behavior at this wedding probably stems from her six top ten Billboard hits, with “Umbrella” at number one in the UK earlier this year for ten consecutive weeks, but is making her head bigger than it normally looks. She better eat some humble pie this month.

Kevin Federline’s lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan went to court this morning with a request to change Britney Spears‘ visitation rights regarding sons Sean, 2, and Jayden, 1, because he claimed she violated her random drug testing, in that she missed 8 of 14 tests. This counts as 8 fails. She is required to be tested twice a week and she is also required to give a urine sample within 6 hours of being called. Anne Kiley, Britney’s attorney, said that Britney is virtually unreachable because she is constantly changing her cell phone number since it sometimes falls into the wrong hands. She told the judge (via TMZ), her client has received calls as early as 8:00 AM. Kiley said pop stars don’t get up that early, adding, “You are not a pop star with a number one album, so you don’t know.” The courtroom erupted in laughter.

Well, Anne, Britney is behind the Eagles, making her a number TWO popstar. And she doesn’t really seem to care, or bother promoting the album. A tour? Please.

It makes me secretly pleased that the courtroom all laughed at that ridiculous statement, but I’m disappointed the judge fell for such bullshit: [he] “is open to a more flexible timetable that works for Brit.”

Ultimately, both sides were unable to reach an agreement, so they will be back in court next Tuesday to present a complete plan to the judge. He left the visitation order the same as he ruled Oct. 26, but did make one change: “Brit must notify her lawyer immediately when she changes her cell phone number. Apparently, she changes her number as often as she changes her clothes, and he’s over it! He told her attorney that she must then immediately contact Kevin’s lawyer, and then call the drug testing facility. That’s some phone tree! The judge told her lawyer, “Basically, the testing facility needs a number they can call and get a response.”

Kiley explained to the court that just because Britney doesn’t respond to the drug tests doesn’t mean she’s using. I say 6 hours is more than enough time to get someone else’s piss. Kaplan communicated that KFed is overly concerned about the welfare of his children. I say he’s still overly concerned with Britney’s money (she is afterall, paying his legal fees–and I’m pretty sure Mark Vincent Kaplan is more “Law & Order” than “Night Court”).

And Britney’s hair looks eerily familiar…shades of Travolta in “Battlefield Earth”?

IMAGE COURTESY OF ASK MEN

IMAGE COURTESY OF CELEBITCHY

Lindsay Lohan’s got one (or perhaps a couple–for LA, NYC, and Utah?), Owen Wilson is reported to have one…the sober companion, or “the missing puzzle piece” according to Sober Champion. There are different types, says the website:

“A Sober Companion may be the missing piece you need to stay away from drugs and alcohol.

A Sober Coach can provide intense sessions, as often as you need, to explore issues relating to your successful recovery from substance abuse.

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If you must avoid drinking, using, gambling, self-injury, or some other obsessive and compulsive behavior, and your case requires round-the-clock assistance, try our Sober Companion services.

If you have been to residential treatment, you’ve made a substantial investment in yourself. Protect that investment with Sober Champion. Let’s help define your goals, identify & help you surmount roadblocks, and become your advocate as you live a life beyond expectations.”

When you’re dealing with serious addictions, you need to think like an addict. Which is why I’m pleased that Lindsay’s sober companions have placed no faith in the struggling actress. And boy, did she ever come through, trying to order vodka on Oct. 19, reports Celebitchy:

“Lindsay Lohan’s aides are going out of their way to make sure the actress/singer stays sober after spending much of the summer in rehab, they’ve told staff at all her old hangouts not to let her drink alcohol. The “Mean Girls” star found this out for herself when she tried to order vodka at Los Angeles’ Viceroy hotel on October 19.

A staff member at the hotel reveals Lohan spent an hour sipping water, but felt the need for something stronger as her friends started to get tipsy. A source tells Life & Style magazine, “She was fine at first, but it was obviously too soon for her to be around people who were drinking, because she later asked the server for a vodka. “But her people had called ahead and servers were told not to give in no matter how often Lindsay asked for alcohol.”

Despite denials about the incident from Lohan’s publicist, a guest at the Viceroy, who overheard the exchange between the actress and a waitress, tells the publication, “I heard the waitress say that she was sorry but she wasn’t allowed to serve her. Lindsay walked out soon after, looking embarrassed.”

While her publicist says Lindsay is “focusing on her work and sobriety”, they had to do extra damage control and wiggle her out of a contract with Las Vegas club LAX, where Lindsay was pegged to host their annual New Year’s Eve party. And guess whose filling in? None other than fellow down-on-her-luck party girl, Paris Hilton, who is being paid one million dollars to play hostess. Which essentially means she drinks all night for free and poses for endless (annoying) photos. Wasn’t Paris allegedly “focusing on her sobriety” as well and going to Rwanda to…pose for photos in villages and tell Rwandans they’re hot? Looks like both these girls are beginning to revert back to their old ways. Sadly, that was what got them the most press.

IMAGE COURTESY OF DLISTED

Rosie O’Donnell was in talks with MSNBC to have her very own show, but apparently, she let the cat out of the bag too soon, the network freaked, and ended any kind of negotiations. Rosie took to her infamous haiku-ie blog with the following “poem” addressing the incident:

msnbc
one hour
live
following keith olbermann

we were close to a deal
almost done
i let it slip in miami
causing panic on the studio end

well
what can u do

2day there is no deal
poof
my career as a pundit is over
b4 it began

just as well
i figure
everything happens for a reason
bashert - as we say

and on we go

The Chicago Sun-Times had an article about the rumored show, and it sounded like a go, albeit a risky one given Rosie’s controversial image, just a short time ago:

“O’Donnell’s ”loose cannon” reputation, reinforced during her nine-month stint on ”The View,” apparently is a key stumbling block as the comedian-turned-TV talker negotiates with the network. Showcasing alternative political viewpoints to the conservative opinions espoused by Fox News has helped boost MSNBC’s recent ratings, ”but we still get nervous when we think about Rosie,” an MSNBC source told me Tuesday.

Yet, given the big ratings boost O’Donnell gave to ”The View” during her tenure there, MSNBC is definitely interested in snaring her, the source said, ”as long as we have certain controls in place.” As for O’Donnell, a source close to her says the outspoken personality thinks it’s all pretty moot. ”Everyone in America knows where I stand as a liberal Democrat who can’t stand the fact George Bush is president,” the O’Donnell friend quotes her as saying about the MSNBC gig.”

During her nine month stint on “The View”, Rosie caused quite an uproar and managed to get on the bad side of Elisabeth Hasselbeck (currently on a welcome maternity leave) AND Barbara Walters (don’t mess with Barb). While viewership was up, it seemed every day, there was a new can of worms opened and video clips of the women’s roundtable arguing hit every gossip site out there. Personally, I don’t watch “The View.” Never have. I preferred the men’s version with Danny Bonaduce and Mario Lopez. Whoa! That was great programming. As opinionated as Rosie is, I think she has quite a following and that potentially would have meant viewers for MSNBC. But I guess she jumped the gun, and MSNBC got gunshy, and it all went up in gunsmoke.

On a poetic note, Rosie is quite the e.e. cummings.