Devin over at CHUD has wrangled some new details about Jason Segel’s (How I Met Your Mother, Forgetting Sarah Marshall) planned Muppet movie. Segel wants to create not some ironic-winking adaptation or one of those awful fantasy types of Muppet movies (In Space, Treasure Island, etc.), instead he wants to kick old school.
Apparently their Muppet film is going to be incredibly old fashioned, with the familiar Muppet characters putting on a show to save an old theater (the theater from The Muppet Show?). The danger? An evil character wants to tear the place down to get at the oil underneath. It’s sort of current!
Apparantly, their oil tycoon has never met Daniel Plainview and has never heard of drainage. Still, sounds like they are onto something by keeping it simple. Segel is writing the film, while Nick Stoller will direct. Jim Henson will provide the Muppets.
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The AV Club has compiled a list of all the best fake drugs ever created. Amongst them include Soma from Aldus Huxley’s Brave New World, U4EA from Beverly Hills 90210, Glint from Strangers With Candy, and Substance D from Phillip K. Dick’s A Scanner Darkly.
This is why the gaming world is all in a tizzy come April 29, when Rockstar Games releases Grand Theft Auto IV. And yes, there will be articles about the “controversy” surrounding the game upon its release. However, the violence, etc. in the game probably pales in comparison to your standard Hollywood film and also to keep in mind that in the video game all the choices you make are just that. Does choosing what you do in the video game world reflect upon you in the real world? Hard to say.
Some estimates are saying this game will make upwards of $360 million dollars in its first week of release.
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Want to know why the big four record companies are suing kids left and right? It’s not because they are worried about a their profits being stolen, it’s because they don’t have any business plan in place once they become obsolete. Jeff Price was the co-founder of spinARTS records and now the record company is completely digital.
Over the ensuing years, spinART had its peaks and valleys. By 2004, there were a lot more valleys than peaks. The label still did what it did very well, identifying bands that it believed people would like and making them famous. But there was one big change, in the “old days” the more famous an artist got, the more money the bands and spinART made by selling the music. Almost suddenly, this correlation seemed to be breaking. Necessity being the mother of invention, it got me thinking, what could I do to remain in the music industry under a model that would not rely on selling music (the exploitation model). And thus the idea for a new model was born, turn distribution into a service for a simple up front, one time flat fee.
For the past century, artists could record, manufacture, market, and, to some degree, promote their own music, but no matter if they were The Beatles, Elvis or Led Zepplin, they could not distribute it and get in placed on the shelves of the stores across the country; the required costs and infrastructure of the physical world were just too massive — a 500,00 square foot warehouse staffed with 30 people, trucks and inventory systems, insurance, a field staff of 30 people walking to music stores leveraging, begging, pleading and paying to get the CD, album, 8-track, wax spool, etc., on the precious shelves of the retail stores — and checking up afterwards. Distribution was out of the hands of any one person, no matter how dedicated or wealthy. Without the music available to buy, there was no way for it to sell.
Record labels made artists famous and made money off that fame by selling the music — without the music available to buy, there was no way for it to sell. The record labels exclusively had the relationships with the distributors (and in the case of the “four major record labels” the same company owns both). Therefore, with only one means to the desired end, the goal for many artists was to get “signed” to a label.
Record labels were in a very unique position of power due to their exclusive access to distribution, they were not only the singular gatekeepers to a career for an artist by “signing” them to an exclusive contract, but they were also the subjective “deciders” as to what music was pushed out and promoted to the media outlets. With a “signing,” the labels acquired exclusive rights to and from the artist. In return, the label advanced money while providing the relationships, expertise and infrastructure to record, manufacture, market, promote, distribute and sell the music. Of all the artists and music creators in the world, far less than 1% got chosen by the labels due to the risks and economics of the “brick and mortar” world. Of all the music created around the globe, even less has had the opportunity to be discovered and heard by the masses.
And then the world changed thanks to the Internet and digital media…….
Fairly fascinating insights from a man who has experienced both aspects of the musical evolution from the expoitive distribution model to the digital age.
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Actually, Leno makes a lot of people uncomfortable by just how unfunny he is. But when Ryan Phillippe stopped by last week to promote his new movie Stop-Loss, Leno took the uncomfortable awkwardness to a whole new level. Rather than allow Phillippe the chance to plug his new flick, Leno wanted to talk about how “gay” a few of his early roles were, including a naked jeans commercial and a role on One Life to Live.
And then things got pretty funny. Leno asks Phillippe to turn to the camera and make is best “gayest look” and Ryan refuses. Anyway, kudos to Phillippe. You can’t tell if he’s actually upset or just amused by the whole situation, especially given that the formula for these types of appearances is generally: some witty banter followed by discussion of product you’re shilling, etc.
I think Ryan Phillippe was just more surprised by how unformulaic the whole affair proceeded. So of course, some members of the gay community have gotten their panties in a twist over the whole affair. Avenue Q playwright Jeff Whitty took to his blog to give Leno the finger. How nuanced and mature.
Anyway, Whitty does, however, make a good point about how even the tiniest of jokes can be detrimental when an entire group of people are essentially fighting for their civil rights.
I’ve gotta ask: would you ask a guest to make their “blackest face?” Their “Jewiest face?” Why not? (I charitably imagine your answer to be, “Not all black/Jewish people are the same, so it’s kind of offensive to think there’s a ‘black/Jewish face.’”) Very good!
I bring those faces up because there’s a group (with whom you are supposedly sympathetic) undergoing a major civil rights struggle, and you seem to adore using the stereotype that we’re laughable and really, all the same in the end.
Anyhow, his ire led to the creation of the very funny site mygayestlook.com, where members of the gay community can post “their gayest look.” Which is really just the lot of them flipping the bird.
The moral of the story kids is that you can make fun of anybody you want to, so long as you’re funny. (See: Park, South). [via]
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I was wasting time this morning watching some Animal Planet show about Antartic penguins. It was riveting and enthralling stuff, as only shows about penguins can be. Anyway, for some reason all I could think about was this old commercial for the New England Aquarium that’s sort of famous for the line “I can walk like a penguin.” Which if you were a Boston child of the eighties you might appreciate.
So without further ado, here’s that commercial and then another famous one for the Boston Museum of Science.
Two April releases flying so far under the radar they might as well be a ground convoy (though if you’re flying under the radar doesn’t that mean you’d be more transparant? And hence, more visible? I think we might need a post on the origins of this saying because for the first time ever it makes no sense) are a Ryan Reynolds comedy Chaos Theoryand a Hugh Jackman/Ewan McGregor thriller Deception.
First up is the Ryan Reynolds comedy. For a while now, it’s been common to attach the phrase “still waiting for that breakthrough role” to Reynolds. I’m beginning to think that he’ll never quite become an A-list star every assumes he will eventually become. But, he does have movie star looks, great comedic timing and some decent drama chops. Chaos Theory looks pretty funny, but far from the breakthrough role he has coming to him.
Reynolds stars as Frank Allen, a celebrated author of the bestseller The Five Minute Efficiency Trainer, who’s perfected the art of living via a foolproof system of timetables and index cards. In fact, his daily “to do” lists are legendary. A man known for playing it safe, Frank doesn’t believe in spontaneity. Every choice he makes is deliberate––designed to contribute to a well-ordered, predictable life. Of course, shit happens and spirals out of control - namely that he’s sterile and his best friend fathered his daughter. Also starring are Emily Mortimer, Stuart Townsend and Sarah Chalke.
So who wins in a fight, Wolverine or Obi-Won Kenobi? There’s the abosolutely no buzzed-about thriller Deception starring Hugh Jackman as a sleezy lawyer and Ewan McGregor has a sheepish acountant. Probably because the generic title is awful. But the actors alone and the genre plot should be able to sell this.
Jackman pulls McGregor into the lurid life of a sex club and some sort of con. The trailer is fairly effective. Often times these thrillers are strictly hit or miss. There’s enough in here to want to see the film but not a whole lot to judge whether or not it’ll be worth seeing.
The marketing for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has been pretty low key, you almost wonder if the marketing department thinks the movie will sell itself. It probably will. To the point that George Lucas has tried in recent moments to dampen the expectations for the movie by claiming “it’s just a movie.” It’s not.
This is huge. Especially for an entire generation of kids who ran around in their backyards playing Indiana Jones without really understanding a lick of what they were playing or being cognizant of the movies. The whip is that cool.
Still, Paramount has released a new television spot and it’s pretty good.
Opens with a classic Indy moment giving snark (”c’mon genius”) to Shia LaBeauf’s character and there are enough big set pieces in this to really sell the action.
In this marketing driven world we live in, a trainwreck like Pete Doherty is comforting. No one embraces the mythology of the drugged out rockstar quite like the Babyshambles frontman. Could you imagine if he was as focused and driven as Tom Cruise? The world wouldn’t be right, it would tilt off its axis ever so slightly.
Word on the street is that Doherty has taken up an interest in Scientology from his partner/love interest DJ Nadine Ruddy. Not quite sure what records a Scientologist DJ would spin, but we have a feeling that if Doherty was recruited into Tom’s cult he would probably destroy it.
Doherty is a great songwriter, but he’s also a prolific destroyer of things.
A source said: “Nadine is really into Scientology. She takes her beliefs very seriously.
“Pete’s chatted a lot with her about it. He went out and bought some books to read up about it.
“He just wanted to find out more about Nadine and what she believes in.”
I can only imagine how those meetings would go with Doherty sneaking out to snort a few lines or shoot up some H. Still, though it’s a funny image of a fictional meeting between Pete Doherty and Tom Cruise.
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Wired has a break down of three bar tricks sure to impress some sucker into buying you a drink. This of course, doesn’t apply to women since they never have to buy their own drinks anyway. Unless you’re with me. Equality foos.
The Cork Stand
The challenge: Drop a wine cork so it lands upright. The barfly’s secret: Hold the cork horizontally and drop it from a height 1.5 times its length. Almost every time (don’t bet the house on this), one end of the cork will strike the table first. Its rotational momentum will be just great enough to make it pivot 90 degrees on the hop and stick the landing like an Olympic gymnast.
Beer Money
Bottle openers are first-class levers, but all you really need to crack a beer is a dollar bill. Fold the buck in half and roll it tightly like a cigarette. Then fold it in half again to create a sharp corner. Hold the open end between your thumb and index finger. Grip the bottle’s neck with your other hand to act as a fulcrum. Stick the corner under the lip of the cap and pop. You’ll need substantial finger strength, but the payoff is free beer. And you can leave your lever as a tip.
Playing With Fire
Whiskey and flames make this the Snake River Canyon of bar stunts. First, bet your buddies you can pick up a shot glass with the flat palm of your hand, no cupping. Then fill said glass about halfway with 100-proof well whiskey (80 proof won’t do) and set it ablaze. Press your palm firmly over the mouth of the glass: The flame dies instantly and the resulting vacuum seals the glass to your hand. Lift. Celebrate your feat with a (now free) single malt.
Also: If you really want to impress and get into that super exclusive club that’s so hard to get into, well, the good guys over at Hybrid Nation have you covered with a video showing you how to do just that. Two words: just DJ.
Cuz, you need a place to show off those fancy new tricks.
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This is an old video of New York’s U-Melt performing cover of Seal’s “Crazy” on New Years Eve at the Highland Ballroom. Jim Laughlin of moe. was kind enough to drop by and help out. The vocals a little flat and could be a little more “power balladry” but still it’s kind of a cool cover choice.
I show this because U-Melt have just released a batch of spring tour dates starting today in their hometown.
As for Seal, well that guy is my hero. He had like three or four good songs and then totally cashed out by impregnating Heidi Klum.
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