This is something new we’re trying out here in Oyster land.  Not sure how the format is going to evolve… It may just be titled song of the day, regardless what we’re trying to do is write about any song that moves us, grooves us and just gets plain stuck in our brain.

They’ll be available to download for a bit, but chances are some of you may already have these songs.  The idea is to be able to write about the music we love, in 75 words or less, not so much in a clinical sense [instruments used, song structure, lyrics, melody], but in an abstract sort of way.  Old songs, new songs, pop songs, whatever.  Some days there just isn’t any good music news out there but hopefully, this will keep our ears and writing chops sharp.  And expose you dear reader to new tastes.  We’re hoping this becomes recipricol, where you let us know the songs you’ve been listening to, and turn us onto new sounds.

The Hold Steady - “You Can Make Him Like You” (Mp3)  Craig Finn writes about a lot of familiar characters - downtroddens, drunks, wanderers, emotionally trainwrecked teenagers - but never is that more identifiable then here.  With lines as lazer sharp as “you can wear those sweatshirts and cover yourself like a bruise,” this track is about a fragile optimism.  You can always find other friends, or other scenes to fit into when things get bad.  In under three-minutes Craig Finn wraps you in warm blanket and lets you feel like everything is gonna be a-okay.

Also: Craig Finn was recently at Boston College for a sit down interview, in the style of Inside the Actors Studio.  Basically, BC invites alumni back to talk about their art, etc.  Didn’t know Finn went to Boston College, but it all makes so much more sense now that I know he went to the Jesuit institution.

This is turning into one serious Oscar-baiting cast.  With Brad Pitt, Ed Norton and Jason Bateman already lined up for State of Play, adapted from a British miniseries, and to be directed by Kevin MacDonald (The Last King of Scotland), you’d think you wouldn’t need any more heavy hitters.  But alas, that’s not the case my friend.  The cast has just added a trio of ladies.  Rachel McAdams, Helen Mirren and Robin Wright-Penn have all signed on.

So just to recap: “The story follows a congressman (Norton) and his former campaign manager-turned journalist (Pitt) who find themselves on opposite sides after the politician’s research assistant and mistress turns up dead.

McAdams will play the youngest reporter at The Washington Globe, who gets caught up in a murder conspiracy. Mirren is the newspaper’s tough editor, and Wright Penn is the congressman’s ex-wife.” 

Matthew Michael Carnahan and Tony Gilroy worked on the script for Working Title Productions and Univeral Studios.

Clearly, these guys are aiming squarely for some attention with a cast like this.  But remember, it’s not always a good thing when it comes to political thrillers.  Just look at the All the Kings Men remake from last year.  That thing was a trainwreck if there ever was one.

Rotund sort-of-funny guy Kevin James is set to star in the flick Mall Cop. Seems like such an obvious idea for a flick and the schlubby James certainly looks the part.

The “story centers on a mild-mannered security guard thrust into action when highly organized thieves take over his mall. James will pen the screenplay with Nick Bakay.”

Adam Sandler’s production company, Happy Madison, will produce the flick. James was last seen in the big screen I Know Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and Hitch.

The awesome Michel Gondry ad we just posted got us thinking about Wes Anderson’s ads for AT&T and AMEX.  And that got us thinking about when his new short film will finally be available to watch.  C’mon iTunes get with the program.  We want us some Natalie Portman.

This ad for the RAZR 2, aptly titled Experience, is directed by visual genius Michel Gondry.  He’s got a Jack Black and Mos Def starring comedy Be Kind Rewind in the pipeworks for early next year.  We’ve long decided there’s no such thing as selling out and this one-minute ad only confirms Gondry’s visual touch.  Hopefully, he’ll reteam with screenwriter Charlie Kaufman soon, since there’s nothing that can touch the joyous heights and paranoid lows of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. 

NME is reporting that Sir Elton John is being investigated in a child pornography probe all due to a few photographs he owns.

The singer owns a photograph of two naked young girls which was due to be part of an exhibition at the the Baltic gallery in Gateshead.

Northumbria Police were reportedly alerted by Baltic managers themselves, the day before five collections were due to be unveiled.

A statement on Elton John’s website states, ‘”Klara and Edda belly-dancing” by Nan Goldin was seized by police from Gateshead’s Baltic Centre on September 20.”

Weird. I guess you know porn when you see it. Goldin has been involved with this type of thing in the past. She’s well known in th art world for photographs of semi-clothed young girls. And in 2001 police were called to another of her gallery showings for the same thing. But it can’t really be porn if you’re not getting off on it? I’m guessing young girls aren’t doing it for Sir Elton.

IMAGE COURTESY OF CELEBITCHY.COM

The incestual circle that is the Hollywood dating pool has just added a new link, and get ready for this: The Oct 1 edition of The National Enquirer printed details of a budding relationship between Kevin Federline and Nicole Narain. Here’s where their connection lies: KFed is Britney Spears‘ rise-to-notoriety ex-husband, and Narain is a former Playboy Playmate who once filmed a sex tape with Colin Farrell that was never released (monetary payoffs on his part are implied). Now back in her swinging single days, Britney was linked with Colin Farrell, fulfilling (or perhaps beginning?) her rep for dating bad-boy drunkards. They were photographed together a couple times:

IMAGE COURTESY OF ALLPOSTERS.COM (yes, you can buy this as a poster–I’m thinking dorm room)

and then both Farrell and Spears moved on to other people that they could film sex tapes with and crappy reality tv shows with, respectively.

But The Enquirer thinks KFed and Narain may have what it takes to create a relationship. Inside sources always assume that when a couple makes out in a club, they’ll be married by months end, and go on to have a Joanne Woodward-Paul Newman type of blissful union. Whoever these people are that blab to the gossip rags jump the gun enormously. Either way, it’s great gossip!

“Nicole previously dated actor Colin Farrell, and a sex tape she reportedly made with the handsome actor has been circulating on the Internet.

“At club Opera, Nicole and Kevin put on their own show - kissing on the dance floor.

K-Fed had to leave early, but just two nights later he arranged to meet the beauty at another L.A. club, Area.

“They sat on the couch…” revealed a source… “She kissed him a few times.”

Later, says the insider, Nicole spent the night at Kevin’s house.”

Celebitchy noted, “for a night that hopefully remains undocumented.” Narain hopes not. She could make her yearly income on creating sex tapes with celebs and then get paid exorbitant amounts of money to keep it out of the media. Quite the entrepreneur, but on the flip side, she probably wouldn’t get insurance and a 401K with that type of business. More like gonnorhea and family exile.

IMAGE COURTESY OF CELEBITCHY.COM

As I posted in Pearls of Gossip yesterday, Kiefer Sutherland was charged Tuesday morning with a DUI, but also violated his parole from an earlier DUI in 2004 and TMZ has uncovered that the judge on that case, Michael Sauer, also sentenced Paris Hilton earlier this year. So he don’t take no shit from celebs. Celebitchy reports:

“[He] not only committed a second DUI in under five years, a crime that will get him a mandatory five days in jail under California law if he’s convicted, he violated his parole. And TMZ points out that the judge for the case for which he violated parole, a 2004 DUI, is none other than Judge Michael Sauer, the guy who put Paris Hilton in jail for 45 days for driving on a suspended license.

Sutherland has a long history of driving-related arrests, and the judge could take that into account.

He was also busted in 1989 and 1993 for reckless driving. Both incidents had DUI charges, which were dismissed. His 1989 arrest also including charges for carrying a concealed, loaded firearm, but that didn’t stick either.”

Maybe this time, it will. Sidenote, dad Donald Sutherland’s new show, “Dirty Sexy Money”, premieres tonight 10/9c on ABC, and much like Martin Sheen, he’s probably sick of the negative publicity his son consistently receives…so much so, that it nearly overshadows their respective bodies of work. “Adult Son Gone Wrong” sounds like a reality E! show to me.

Just wanted to weigh in on Big Rob’s last post about what’s going on with tonight’s new premieres and the return of your old favorites.  The TV Diva should be weighing in, we hope, since her opinions are held in such revered places around here.

I’ll be checking out ABC’s lineup tonight of Dirty, Sexy, Money and gulp! Private Practice.  As no doubt many of you are.  We’ll get some thoughts up there for ya afterwards.  But if you’re in a bind and don’t have a DVR just know we’ve got ya covered.

Also be sure to check out Ken Burns’ latest documentary The War.  That airs on PBS at 8 p.m. like every night this week and dang it if it isn’t just another amazing emotional manipulator from Burns.

Sturgeon General’s Warning: With all of the premieres of new and returning shows in the next couple of weeks, the danger of TV overdose is high. Symptoms include, but are not limited to, permanent butt prints in your couch, tendonitis of the thumb, Dorito-stained fingers, and eyes that feel like you just spent 12 hours in a highly-chlorinated pool.

I myself plan to try and limit myself to no more than two hours of prime time a day; since I currently have no Tivo –

“Gasp! Omigod! Surely, he must be joking!”

I’m not joking and stop calling me Shirley — that means that I must be selective. The first hour is easy.

At 8 p.m., I gotta give Back to You a try, with two giants of TV comedy, Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton, as bickering anchorpersons with a shared past. From what I’ve seen so far, the writing is as sharp as the cast (you can also catch full episodes on FOX’s website).

‘Back to You’ could have a secret weapon in funnyman Fred Williard. The sitcom has been generating plenty of good buzz, even with the caveat of it being a “traditional” sitcom.
Unfortunately, I’ve never been a ‘Til Death fan, the lead out for Back to You. I figure the 8:30-9:00 slot will give me a chance to hone my high-speed remote surfing skills switching between Deal or No Deal (NBC), America’s Next Top Model (CW) and Dancing With the Stars (ABC). I can’t wait to check out Jane Seymour. The woman’s ageless beauty defies the laws of nature.

Again, many choices at 9:00 pm. Gossip Girl looks a little too Sex in the City meets The O.C. for my taste. (To my mind, the habitues of the Manhattan subculture the show covers–Paris and Nicole types, with only slightly less money–are a complete waste of oxygen). Though it is narrated by Oyster-fav Kristen Bell and stars the flawlessly beautiful Blake Lively (Accepted, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants).

And Criminal Minds is now Patinkinless. Not that I dislike Joe Mantegna. House of Games and Homicide = incredibly good films. I’ll probably try to catch “Minds” in reruns.

I have already expressed high hopes for Bionic Woman. I will at least have to give it a few weeks to prove itself.

Thursday, I’ll have to switch from the couch to the chair. I hate permanent butt prints.

It’s been awhile since we’ve been this awake this early.  Didn’t stay up and catch any of the new shows last night.  Basically, I caught Bones, House and Eureka. 

Didn’t even bother with Cane or Reaper, though I’m hoping Reaper gets replayed as I’ve heard the good buzz surrounding it. Anyone catch those shows?  Hopefully, we’ll be able to get some thoughts on them for ya really soon.

Anyway, these are the things that are providing watercooler fodder at the moment.

- Jesus Cat is an awesome god!

- AICN has got some cool things about Zak Snyder’s Watchmen.  

- Fashion designer Marc Ecko, who purchased Barry Bond’s 756 homerun ball in an online auction has decided to brand the ball with an asterick and give it to the baseball hall of fame.  Funny or crass?

- Details of Lost Season 3 DVD are now hitting the web.

- Good thing Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee made it to Mordor before the volcano blew.  Seriously though, what’s up with all the earthquakes and volcanoes blowing in recent months?

- We can finally put an end to the speculation over the Meg White Sex Tape.  The daily Swarm tracked down the original poster and he all but admits it was a prank.

- Austin City Limits new fall schedule has hit.  This season’s lineup is pretty unbelievably stellar.  Chew on this: Wilco, Arcade Fire, Norah Jones, The Decemberists, Ghostland Observatory, Bloc Party, Old Crow Medicine Show, Lucinda Williams, Van Morrison and Johnny Mayer to name a few.  Are you drooling yet?  Have you run out and set your DVRs?

- Gotta love the publicity push for Amazon’s new DRM-Free Mp3 store.  Has anyone heard or been writing about this at all?  Jeff Bezos probably needs to hire a new PR firm.

- UGO has some incredible spoilers regarding George Miller’s in development Justice League of America movie.  Word is Jessica Biel might be stepping into Wonder Woman’s tights.  This one sounds like it could be awesome.

When a special effects technician on the set of Chris Nolan’s The Dark Knight needed help, Batman was no where to be found. Lt. Gordon kept calling on the bat phone, but Bruce Wayne said, “no hasta aqui.”

Wait, what? You mean Batman isn’t real? He doesn’t ACTUALLY save people? Jesus! What is the world coming to. (Via)

The studio said the man, who was not identified, died when a truck carrying a camera platform crashed into a tree while following a stunt vehicle on Monday. Filming on the movie, “The Dark Knight,” was not taking place at the time, and no actors were involved in the accident.

The accident took place during a test run at a racetrack near Chertsey, south of London.

The studio said producers, cast and crew “are deeply saddened by this tragedy and their hearts and prayers go out to the family and loved ones of the deceased.”

Suddenly I’m feeling really awful about making a crass joke at the expense of this gentleman’s life. Our deepest wishes go out to this crew members family.

Slashfilm has been following a 17-minute short film written and directed by Wes Anderson titled Hotel Chavelier. Oddly, this is the first we’ve really seen of anything regarding this film. It stars Jason Schwartzmann and Natalie Portman and works as a stand alone short flick, but also as a prequel to Anderson’s upcoming feat