This hasn’t been such a great week momentum wise for us here in Oysterland. There’s been a lot going on, we’ve become obsessed with tweaking the little things on the website to make the appearance overall seem better. We’ve added a music player so that while you’re cruising through the articles and checking out the latest and greatest you can get a taste for what we’re listening to as well. We’ll always be changing the tunes every week, so there will always be something new to listen to. Some might stay, others might leave. That feature comes coutresy of Finetune. Unfortunately we had to cut off a little bit of the player to fit it into our sidebar. We hope the good folks will eventually build a player with an adjustable size. Hint, hint.

And we’ve tweaked the look of the Snap Preview for outgoing links. We like this feature since before clicking on a link you can see exactly what you’ll be clicking to.

Hopefully, very soon we’ll be adding some snazzy header artwork and a virtual gallery for artists to show off some of their goods and provide an outlet for them to sell their work.

On an unrelated note, we were just sent this article by good friend Shweta Dixit. You can almost see the tears trickling down Borat’s face. Okay, so it’s not something to joke about, but this just about took the wind out of our sails. Doctors in Kazakhstan are on trial for giving patients blood transfusions infected with H.I.V.

Well, that would be the headline if this were about Carmelo Anthony. It’s time to be honest and admit that fighting in sports has nothing to do with thuggery and everything to do with competitive people banging around in a hot box … never mind about that last part. Anyway, 21 seconds into the Rangers-Flyers hockey game last night one of the guys got knocked out cold.

Where’s Rocky Balboa when you need him.

We love the Fraggles. It’s just a pure unadulturated joy. So much so, that when we finally got around to buying a cellphone, I know I know we were a little late to the game, the second ringtone we bought was for the Fraggle Rock theme song. What was the first one you ask? We actually don’t remember.

Word comes down that Ahmet Zappa, the son of legendary musician Frank Zappa, will be directing the feature adaptation of Fraggle Rock. We’re not quite sure if Zappa is the man for the job, but we do know that if he’s anything like his father he might just bring a child-like whimsy to the affair. From the sounds of it, Zappa seems to have a fondness for the the HBO children’s show and really understand what made Jim Henson’s show work.

Part of that sweetness is in the nonjudgmental dependency between the different races and colors of Fraggles, and the creatures that surround them. “It’s a complete ecosystem,” Zappa said of Henson’s idea to show children how living creatures need each other. Zappa’s script will pick up with level-headed Gobo, artistic Mokey, athletic Red, nervous Wembley and chronically depressed Boober in the same underground tunnels where we left them 20 years ago, and follow the crew as they journey for the first time into “Outer Space” — or as we like to call it, the real world.

So far so good.

“Traveling Matt is in the movie,” Zappa confirmed, referring to Gobo’s adventurous uncle whose naive reports from Outer Space are indicative of the fish-out-of-water humor Zappa will embrace. “The funny part about Traveling Matt and Outer Space is he’d see a fire hydrant and assume it was a person. He thought cars were animals, that they were living organisms, and he thought elevators were people changers, because the doors would close and then open, and there’d be new people in there all the time.”

It’s too early to tell how this will shake down. To me it sounds like it could go either way, like so many other Hollywood products wherein they turn beloved television shows into rote movies. And if the movie ends up sucking, there’s always the original show on DVD.

Behold the joy of Fraggle Rock!

I knew there was a reason and it’s certainly not because he’s going to be the next American Idol. Check out the tatas on his sister.

Dang skippy she’s bouncy!

Tomorrow, Sen. Clinton(D-NY), Sen. Spector(R-PA), Rep. Shays(D-CT) and Rep. Moran(R-KS) will introduce a bill to establish the first ever Public Service Academy.  The event will be held at 2:45 p.m. in Room 253 of the Russell Senate Office Building in Washington D.C.

For those of you that know us here in the Oysterite offices, you know that we’re not very political.  Yes, we like to pretend we’re members of the intelligensia and debate political policy, the war in Iraq, how much a doofus the President is, et cetera.  But, really when it comes down to it we get more excited by a debate over which band is better Cansei de ser Sexy or The Brazillian Girls.

With that said, as we said goodbye to Zack Bazzi one of our oldest friends this past weekend (he’s leaving for Afghanistan after already having served in Iraq), we do get upset by the reports coming out of Walter Reed Medical Center and the blatent hypocrisy/disregard by this administration to take care of the soldiers whom they ask to sacrifice so much for their own blatent agenda.

So what does this have to do with the formation of a Public Service Academy?  I don’t know.  Although with Walter Reed maybe, possibly staying open, the plans to turn the medical facility into the academy’s campus will have to be put on hold.  I haven’t had my coffee yet, so I’m just getting fired up.  But the point is, and there is a point, is that for the past seven years this country has suffered two catastrophes on its own soil and yet we still are more concerned with what’s going on in the Middle East.  It’s time to start focussing our attention inward and repair what’s become broken over all these years.

That reparation begins with the passing of this bill.

There’s nothing like being in last place in the ratings to make a network take a chance or two. It happened to ABC and they were able to produce big hits with Lost, Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy. This past year seems to be the year NBC finally steps up to the plate with some decent programming.

Their Thursday sitcoms have found a nice groove and anyone would be a fool if they tried to tell you Heroes wasn’t the breakout hit of the season. Not to mention the exceptional, if under the radar, Friday Night Lights. Though it is a bit of a surprise that mid-season replacements Raines and Andy Barker, P.I. fit sublimely into NBC’s burgeoning slate of nightly shows.

Coincidentally, both shows also come from similar blocks of wood. The juxtapositioning of these two shows, which air back-to-back on Thursday nights, proves how easily it is to tweak a formula and produce not only a funny comedy, but also an interesting drama out of the tried and true detective genre.

It’s a genre, that has over the years become more scarce. With the exception of Veronica Mars on the CW, and USA’s Monk and Psyche, most detective shows are simply cops shows wrapped up in pretty descriptions and bow ties. That is where the two news shows from NBC differ, managing to pay homage to shows past like Columbo and Matlock without seeming staid or been-there-done-that.

Much of that is due to veteran actors Jeff Goldblum and Andy Richter and the supporting cast that surrounds them. Richter has Tony Hale (Buster on ‘Arrested Development’) as his sidekick and Goldblum, though mostly working alone, has Malik Yoba (’Thief’ and ‘New York Undercover’) and Nicole Sullivan (’MadTV’) to play off of.

Suffice it to say both shows are worth watching to see if they can find and sustain a little groove. Each also has their own twist on the genre, although neither is all that clever. Andy Barker, P.I. finds the main character, an accountant, moonlighting as a dick all because of an indentity mix up. And Raines is another one of those quirky detective, who solves crimes by mentally projecting the victim. Really he’s just going through an emotional crisis, but it helps him to solve crimes by talking to the dead. It sounds worse than it really is. Afterall the first episdoe of Raines was directed by the great Frank Darabont (’Shawshank Redepemtion’ as if I had to tell you!) and Andy Barker, P.I. is produced by Conan O’Brien.

Check out the shows. They’ve got loads of promise and you won’t even feel upset over giving them your time. If you can’t catch them when they air on television, NBC has each show streaming episodes on their website.

Andy Barker, P.I. airs Thursdays on NBC at 9:30 p.m. Raines airs Thursdays on NBC at 10 p.m.

So it wasn’t just a terrible made for TV movie courtesy of the Sci-Fi Channel!  And by terrible we mean, totally awesome.  Oh my god!  It’s true, we’re going to explode and die in a fiery pit of molton lava.  Maybe Al Gore will be able to figure out how to save us.  Please, please, please let this erupt.

And no, I don’t think it’s twisted that my one secret desire is to live through an apocalyptic type event.  Like perhaps a super volcano, or possibly killer bees, killer locusts, or even a Spring Break shark attack!

There is seismic activity at the Yellowstone National Park supervolcano site.

Though they had their own intentions, neither Faulkner nor Shakespeare would disagree that internet sensation Snakes on a Plane had both the sound and fury and ultimately signified nothing. That it was almost impossible for critics to review the movie solely based on its cinematic elements upon its release, makes it necessary to review the film on DVD. Long after the hoopla has died.

The film only garnered a 69% on Rotton Tomatoes and though the advanced buzz was so deafening, according to Box Office Mojo it managed to only pull in $14 million it’s opening weekend and a paltry $34 million for its entire run. Unfortunately, the same critics that detested the calculated nature of the film were not wrong. Though the fanboys would have you believe this is a fun, purposely bad movie, void of needing to be reviewed, the Sam Jackson vehicle is just plain bad. The title of the film says it all. Yes, there are snakes on a plane attacking passengers. And that’s about all this has to offer.

MORE »

He turns 52 today. Yippie Kiyay muthafucka. He can been seen next in the Tarentino/Rodriguez two-fer Grindhouse on April 6. Anyone else surprised by the promotional push Grindhouse is getting. It’s been all over Sci-Fi and FX, etc. I can’t tell if the studio is worried it’ll tank at the box office or if Tarentino and Rodriguez are out making the rounds becasue they are like super duper excited for their flick. Thoughts?

Oddly enough Mr. Willis refused to do a sex scene with Halle Berry because she became way hotter in the decade since the two made The Last Boyscout. The duo are in the sexual thriller Perfect Stranger. That movie comes out on April 13. Looks like it’ll be a Bruce-tastic April!

In a related story Ashton Kutcher is still young enough to be Bruce Willis’s kid. That must suck knowing you’re cool cat Bruce Willis and you lost Demi Moore to Ashton Kutcher. Sorry Bruce!

How about that March Madness?  It’s been fairly tame this year and that makes us feel sad.  No big upsets, no big buzzer beaters.  300 was tops at the box office, raking in another $30 million.  St. Patty’s Day was sort of a bust too.  We’ve decided it might be the worst holiday to go out to the bars.  Not putting it on the level of suckitude as say, New Year’s Eve, but honestly I can’t think of another holiday were everyone goes out.  My local pubs charge me money to drink and I have to stand elbow to elbow with a bunch of yahoos.  And yes, I sound like an old man complaining but if I have to pay to drink, then I want to be able to easily get a beer at the bar and not fight through crowds.  Am I alone here?

• Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are rolling out the fuzz!  According to AICN, the duo behind cult-fav Shaun of the Dead are bringing their latest flick, Hot Fuzz, about British cops, to the masses.  If you’re in Boston, the Brattle Theatre in Harvard Square has the goods.  The week long celebration culminates on March 25 with a screening of the movie, followed by a Q&A.  Also all week long, the Brattle will be screening classic cop flicks like Hard-Boiled, Bullitt, Lethal Weapon, and Electra Glide in Blue.
• Alex Trebek has never had a match in 23 years like the one last Friday.  For the first time in Jeopardy’s history it ended in a three-way tie.  That’s right, all three contestants finished with $16,000.  Though mathematicians estimated the odds of this happening to be 25 million-t0-1, some suspect it was all due to defending champion Scott Weiss.  Weiss, rather than betting enough to win apparantly decided to bet enough to tie during Final Jeopardy.
• NYPD arrested 21 people over the weekend during a high school basketball game.  A brawl broke out in the stands and meandered into the streets of Times Square.  Girls were slapping boys, boys were hitting them back and then the cops got in on the action and beat down some folks with their batons.  Times Squares is 10 frakking blocks away from MSG!  Ten blocks!  How in the holy hell did they get from MSG to Times Square?????????  By the by love the use of the news report’s use of the words “spilled.”  As if it was like, “whoops sorry didn’t mean to take this fight ten blocks away.  My bad.”  Anyway Lincoln High beat rival Boys & Girls 77-50.  Sebastian Telfair would be so proud.
• Happy Birthday to you!  Happy Birthday to you!  Happy Birthday dear Iraqi War, happy birthday to you.  Yes, the Iraqi War officially turned four years old over the weekend.  So how do the Iraqis feel about it?  Apparantly not well, according to the Washington Post.
• Didn’t make it down to Austin for SXSW?  Neither did we.  But Stereogum is there and they’ve got some great coverage of the music festival.
• Continuing our watch on the it-can’t-get-hear-fastenough for us is an interview with director Zack Snyder.  He dishes on his next project, an adaptation of the seminal Alan Moore graphic novel Watchmen.  It’s a great five minute clip courtesy of Reelz Channel.
• You’ve seen the ads for True on Myspace.  Now get the scoop on the social dating site.
• Did anyone catch Snow Patrol on SNL this weekend?  We didn’t.  Did Elaine dance during their performance?  And despite ruining the last shards of cred, we’ll go to bat for Snow Patrol.  Yes, they play sensitive dude rock.  But they’re Irish.  Mostly the songs that become hits suck, but the other ones aren’t too bad.  Coincidentally, the band has surpassed the frog for ringtone supremacy.  Seriously.  Though we couldn’t find the story to back this up, local radio WFNX reported that the band has opened a musician’s center in Belfast.  It’s a recording space and a place for up and coming musicians to hang with other musicians, get some studio time, etc.  Sounds cool to us.

We’re dragging this Monday morning.  It was a long night.  We couldn’t even stay up for frakking Battlestar Galactica, but we finished the episode this morning.  Dang, we hate cliffhangers.  Anyway enjoy the dose of Monday morning wake up music.

Mp3: Katrina & The Waves - I’m Walking on Sunshine

Mp3: KC and the Sunshine Band - Boogie Shoes

Taking their name for the French term for outsider art, although the ironically playful band will have you believe group members met at a conference for German scientist Arthur Brut, the South London band Art Brut has been making waves for their unique blend of simple, arty-punk rock. Think of the Velvet Underground (despite having a song which claims to hate the Velvet Underground) mixed with The Clash. That’s the obvious starting point for the band. Unlike those other two bands, who took themselves much too seriously, the very very British Art Brut, desisres for something a little less serious and a little more deprecating, a tad mocking, and very ironic.

Now Glynnie over at Greater Freedom of Movement told me Art Brut wasn’t really his cup of tea, but that after seeing them in concert their high energy performances won him over. Consisting of singer Eddie Argos, guitarists Chris Chinchilla (who has since left the band and been replaced by Jasper Future) and Ian Catskilkin, bassist Frederica Feedback and the drummer Mike, from their names alone it’s easy to understand just how seriously they take themselves.

But it’s really the songs and craftsmanship of their 2005 debut album “Bang Bang Rock & Roll” for which they’ve earned their reputation as punk comedians. The album landing on just about everyone’s year end lists.

But me I first heard of them from sadly, The Gilmore Girls. I think it was the episode where Zack was showing off his mandolin and Lane asks him what he’s written. Of course, the writers strain to sound hip so they name check every single band from The Decemberists to R.E.M. to Art Brut to god knows what else. It was a vomit moment for the usually stellar pop culture savy show. And so, after recognizing every band he name checks with the exception of Art Brut I felt like I should look into that. And then I looked in the mirror and thought to myself, yup you’re pretty lame.

The album kicks off with the ragged “Formed a Band,” in which it sounds as if singer Eddie Argos is making up the lyrics as he goes. “Look at us, we formed a band!” he shouts. “And yes, this is my singing voice, it’s not irony, it’s not rock and roll. We’re just talking to the kids,” he implores in a deadpan speak-singing voice. And just when you think this is the work of a retarded outsider artist, Argos hits listeners with lines like “I want to be the boy who writes the song that brings Palestine and Israel together. I want to write a song as universal as Happy Birthday.” Grand intentions indeed. With the chugging guitars and thumping baseline it’s clear that though their songs sound as if they were written by amateurs there is more going on beneath the surface.

One review claimed that song both celebrated and killed rock and roll at the same time. It’s not hard to argue that Art Brut writes conventional rock songs, but their lyrics deconstruct the meaning of being a rock and roller. Though the irony and comedy could cripple an album, lyrically it’s greatest strength is from Argos’s storytelling style. On the lament “Emily Kane” where he pines for the love of his life, a love developed in adolescents, a love where he claims “there’s a beast in my soul… I never thought I’d love again. I want school kids on busses screaming your name!” That earnestness should be on display more. It’s the side of Art Brut that should keep listeners coming back for more.

Unfortunately the album drags on and the screeching guitars and droling singing of the songs eventually bleed together into one lump of music. A shame for the album comes out of the gates with a full head of steam.

Mp3: Art Brut - Emily Kane

Mp3: Art Brut - Formed a Band

Well we’re gonna polish up what seems like a tribute week to the great television show, Saved By the Bell. Probably one of the greatest moments in my life was when my buddy Scotty D. paid to have Mr. Belding call me up and wish me happy birthday. No lie! I got to actually talk to Mr. Belding or at least someone who sounded exactly like him. All courtesy of Hollywood Is Calling.

So you know that when I came across this Top Ten list from Uber, of course I was going to comment on it and share. Now all of the moments are backed up with video evidence. According to the user there are the top moments in Saved By the Bell history:

1. Jessie addicted to caffeine pills
2. Zack and Slater fight in the hall
3. Slater dances
4. The “Hot Sundae” video
5. Zack and Kelly break up
6. Zack Attack reunion
7. No Hope With Dope PSA
8. Buddy Bands
9. Fresh Prince of Bayside
10. Zack’s Graduation Speech

One can only assume, based upon this list, that several periods in Saved By the Bell lore were left out. Including the Malibu Sands epoch, the Ms. Bliss and Milo era, the Tory era, and the college years. Now if I were making the list I probably wouldn’t have including the Hot Sundae video, because it came from the same episode as Jessie taking the caffeine pills. In fact the girl group directly led to Jessie’s downfall because she couldn’t balance SAT preparations with the singing group.

For my tastes the PSA would have been hirer ranked. But it’s hard to fault the inclusion of any of the other moments. All I want to know is how could you leave off the clip where Screech beats Ox, the dumb jock, in the American Gladiators Army competition? Or for that matter when Zack impersonates the Russian chess player? Of course there’s always the drunk driving episode as well. And Tori Spelling as Violet. Not to mention the episode where Zack gets a 1500 on his SATs and then uses that leverage to seduce other Bayside High women. Oh and also, Zack could stop time simply by calling Time-Out? What’s up with that?

What do you say, what are your top moments in Saved By The Bell lore?